February 24, 2012

Best Quote and Leprosy

New best quote ever:
Religion is a lot like a penis - So please:
~ Respect that not everyone has one
~ Don't pull it out and wave it around
~  Don't shove it down every one's throat!
Funny stuff. And true.

I have eczema, and I have had a major flare-up for about a week now.  My arms, torso, and face are covered.  Even my eyelids have been burning and peeling.  It has been affecting my vision, and it hurts for me to sit too long.  It actually even hurts to wear clothes.  Which I do, because I'm sure Ty the roommate would get all weirded out if I didn't.  I can feel the seam of my super worn T-shirt running along the inside of my elbow as I move my fingers to type.  Ooooh its a creepy feeling.  I feel like I have Leprosy.  I swear, I'm waiting for one of my fingers to fall off.  Ok, maybe that is a little dramatic.  Thank Goddess its finally starting to clear up.  I used a combination of covering myself in oil when I step out of the shower before I dry off, and trying to sleep more. 

News!  I'm getting a new roommate.  Felix seems cool, and he doesn't touch my stuff.  He also has no problem sleeping on the couch.  Yay!  He is obsessed with the song Caribou Lou by Tech N9ne tho.  I swear I have heard it at least once a day since he started hanging out.  He has been hanging out here and sleeping in our chair since he arrived from California.  He does have his own apartment, but he doesn't have a tv, or anything fun.  So, he hangs out with us and our Xbox 360.  He watches RuPaul's Drag Race with me, so that is ok.  I miss living right underneath my best friend Oleander though.  She and I lived in an apartment building, and I never had to put on shoes to go to her house.

My phone is off this month.  It makes me angry because i made sure I paid my rent, and I bought cigs for me, James, Ty, and Felix.  I bought for Ty and Felix because I've been bumming off them for a week.  Ok, 2 weeks.  So James came home from getting his check cashed, and had bought a phone card and didn't pay all of his rent.  Also, he owes Felix almost $100 for various things.  And hasn't paid him back.  Yesterday was James' birthday and his mom gave him $100 for a new phone.  Ty took him to the store and pitched in another $100 so he could get the touch phone he wanted.  So right now, I'm sitting at home with no phone, and no car.  Where is my car, you ask?  El Bumblebeeito (my car) is at work with James.  At least, I'm assuming that because the car is gane and so are my keys.  Who has two thumbs and is super pissed?  This chick.

February 19, 2012

Fun Stuff and My Free Time - Ha!

I'm playing my new addiction, Mousehunt.  It is a free (I hate paying for games) online game where you make mousetraps to catch mice.  Sounds simple, but these guys made everything into a dice roll, and the mice can be pretty tricky.  Little bastards.  Very fun, but it was specifically designed to be low bandwidth and easy to play for a couple of minutes and then go back to work, or Internet auctions.  Haha.

Now that I have my food stamps card (it came!!!  yay!!!)  I'm making an actual grocery list.  I'm so excited!  I'm starting to think I have too much fun on recipe sites.  I use All Recipes and Food Network for most of mine, after that one internet adventure where I ended up on a dog recipes site.  They didn't have food for dogs, it was food of dogs.  Gross.  I'm sorry but I can't imagine a dog being a delicious animal.  Granted chickens are rather nasty yet delicious, but they stay in a yard.  Movement seems to be important.  Dogs run all over the place and lick their asses.  I won't eat cat for the same reason.  Plus I like most dogs and cats.  People travel around a lot, but I hate most people soI don't think I would have a problem eating one.  I mean, my neighbors are safe (for now) but in a Donner Party situation, people will die before my dog will.  I hope people will still go on road trips with me.  I wonder if, when driving in a situation where I could be potentially stranded,  I should bring an extra person.  Like the story about the bear dog.  A man adopted a dog, and said he wanted it for hunting, since he hunted in bear country.  The lady at the rescue said "Are you sure?  He has only one eye, and three legs."  Guy said sure, that way he just had to outrun the dog, not the bear.   

Sorry I haven't posted a ton this week gang, Im working on a new layout for here, and I've have this migrane for 2 days now.  Ugh.  

February 16, 2012

Exes Day, and Scottish Independence

In The World:

Scotland is looking at potentially having Independance.  Yay!  I capitalized it because I think it is important to have.  So, Go Scotland!  Kick England in the nads!

The Cobert Report is not making new episodes!  I think.  I saw it on the internet news, and you know how that can be.  But tickets are currently unavailable, so we shall see.  I didn't find any chatter on the Cobert Report website itself, but hopefully he will be back.  We love you Steven!  Come back to us! 

Gay marriage is officially legal in New Jersey!  Yay New Jersey!  Now you suck slightly less!  Not enough to make up for the cast of Jersey Shore, but its a start.  Baby steps. 

In sadder news, there was a fire in Honduras' biggest prison and 350 people died.  The real tragedy is that since 47% of the inmates of the prison were convicted of a crime.  Several innocent people died in a fire that could have been prevented or at least damage could have been kept to a minimum, except for overcrowding and the fact officials couldn't find the keys.  More senseless lives lost.

And apparently American women are talking in lower voices.  Like Janis Joplin.  Go whiskey-speech!


In My House:

So officially the day after Valentine's day must be exes day.  The cops called my mom's house looking for a guy I dated a couple of years ago, he's wanted for questioning in connection with some "incidents" last spring.  I told them what I could, but what can I say?  Not really interested.  Then James' ex showed up, and proceeded to pick a fight with him.  Why do people feel the need to spread their assholeness everywhere?  We broke up for a reason, take your lame ass somewhere else!  Well, my ex-boyfriends run for the hills when they see me coming, but that is because I don't suffer fools, and I dated a lot of them.  Vicious circle. 

Headache, You Suck

Right behind my eye is an evil beetle chewing it's way into my brain.  Ugh.  At least, I assume that is what the stabbing pain is.  I want to stick something in my eye to relieve the pressure, but I need it for driving and such. 

February 14, 2012

Alternative Lifestyles or Why I Wear A Cape

I'm listening to Boondocks, a hardcore psychopathic rap group.  The music is like Insane Clown Posse.  This is the best example I could think of.

Good stuff Maynard.  I know that this music is extreme, but I listen to it because I have a sick sense of humor and I think they're hilarious.  Plus, I've had more than one day where I've imagined committing mass murder with a hatchet. Also, I'm Batman.

It's a kickin' it *chicka chicka* old school kindof night I think.  Ugh, going to bed.  Goodnight!

February 13, 2012

My eyes hurt.

I woke up having one of those days where everything sucks.  My eyes hurt, eczema patches sprang up on them.  On them!  Ahhh!  And I found out James and I are working opposite shifts on Valentine's Day.  The one time I actually have someone to hang out with, and we both have to work.  Stupid being an adult.  I hate everything today.  Lucky for me, I have Louis and can force him to give me kisses muahahaha!  That is a trick most non-parents don't know, you can make your kids do just about anything.  I bribe Louis with frozen juice pops for kisses.  Or tell him I'm sad and need lots of kisses.  He gives me a long suffering sigh, and says, "Ok Mama."  I am so high maintenance my 5 yr old notices, and judges me!  Oh, well.  He runs around in his underwear with dinosaurs.  I hate being judged by people before they get into age double digits.  My friend's daughter tells me I'm weird every time I see her.  Just because I try and borrow her shoes when she steals mine, and I act like I can't figure out why they won't fit.  Of course, she is usually wearing 2 ball gowns and a stethoscope for fashion, but when you're 6 you're everything at once. 

Is it all grown men that are incapable of doing their own laundry?  It seems crazy to me, but every time I'm in a relationship with a man I end up doing his laundry.  At least James folds.  Granted, he doesn't do anything else like put it away or even move the basket away from the couch, but he will fold it after I wash it.  Eventually.  *sigh*  Of course, I hear it is the same for my lesbian friends.  In the relationships I've seen there is one partner with the more domestic and traditionally feminine responsibilities, and the other has the masculine stuff.  It can't be according to temperament, I am the least feminine person I know.  Gender roles are weird, especially when you look at other cultures.  Of course, gender roles are a bit flip flopped in my house.  James, the greatest boyfriend ever, helps me take care of Louis, and spends a fair amount of time with him. 

Happy Valentine's Day everybody!  I have a big plan of lighting some tea lights i found in a box and cuddling with James.  You know, after we both work alternating shifts.  Damn.  I bet it'll be a watching movies and eating fish sticks on the couch kind of night, and I couldn't be happier about it.

February 12, 2012

Whoohoo New Stuff!

I finally figured out my cafepress store!  I think...  I'm not really sure to be honest. I am sure that we have some awesome treasures for you here, The Prairie Ninja Store or over there to the left, where it says Lookit! Lookit!  I had a crabby day, so I made earrings that say suck it.  Sometimes its just a suck it kind of day.

I suppose I don't really need to be crabby, even though I was given 20 hours again this week.  I'm glad to be job hunting, almost.  At least now I'm opening myself up to something that can be an actual career, since living paycheck to paycheck is killing me slowly.  We aren't even really living at this point.  Hell, I can't afford to buy new socks for Louis, much less myself.  This blows.

James traded in some of his old games for Super Smash Brothers Brawl today.  So I'm watching him play it.  Maybe I'll just go to bed, it isn't that interesting to watch.  Now if he was geeking out on some Resident Evil that would be cool.  I love watching that game.  The movies are good too, but I like the game better, plus I rule at the puzzles.

I just realized that I said the links were on the left.  Can you tell I have issues with my left and right?

Crossing the Line ~Realness~

There has been (and always will be unfortunately) a lot of domestic violence in the news.  Granted some stories are light on your mind, such as Brittney Baxter's escape from her kidnapper.  Some stories weigh heavy on my soul when I read them, like the evil of the act was so bad it created a stain on my mind.  Josh Powell for one.  He is suspected of killing his wife last year, and custody of his sons was taken away from him for unrelated charges.  He had a supervised visit with his 2 young boys, and the second they showed up at the door with a social worker, he snatched them inside and locked her out.  As the social worker was calling 911, Powell proceeded to kill his young sons with a hatchet and then exploded his house in a fiery inferno.  What the hell dude?  So people like that can have contact with their children, but I have a couple of friends that lost custody of their kids because there was marijuana in the house.  Crazy.

Enough ugliness.  I'm turning on the food channel.

February 11, 2012

Looking at the beach

So I've had this fantasy for a long time of moving to the Galapagos Islands, working on endangered species breeding programs, and living on the beach.  Or next to it in a hut with a hot tub, whatever.  I would live with a well oiled man named Fernando, who would look something like Antonio Banderas at 20 and would only say "Yes my queen".  I would have my morning coffee and watch the tropical birds wake up with the world.  I'm pretty sure this fantasy is the only reason I haven't killed anyone.  Yet.

As I sit in my basement with good friends watching Boondock Saints, I am thinking about how blessed I am to have them in my life.  Yes, even you Kylie.  My friends are fun, but most people don't seem to understand our relationships.  Most, if not all of the relationships I have are at least in part based on insults.  Don't get me wrong, they are not (except in extreme cases like Greg the Annoying Grill Guy) heartfelt, but they can be pretty rude. Like I have a friend that is a lesbian, I told her the other day her superhero name was the Rug Doctor.  She thought it was hilarious.

I officially don't like anonymous troll posters.  It is hard to follow someone around and ridicule their ideas if they don't leave at least a screen name behind.  How else can I know that not only did TimsMom73 (I made it up, sorry if someone really has that name)  say something stupid on one post, but several others?  And that frees me up to smash their ideas repeatedly.  So down with anonymous posters!  Own what you say!

Now the Harold and Kumar Christmas Special is on.  This is a bit bizarre.  Sobriety totally ruins these movies. 

February 10, 2012

Abandoned children, what happens?

I've been thinking a lot lately about father relationships.  My father and I don't have the best relationship.  Actually, as it stands, I don't really think we even have a relationship.  He and my mother divorced before I was 2, and he paid his child support, but thats it.  Sure, my brother and I went to his house every other weekend, up until we decided we didn't want to anymore.  I was 8 and my brother was 13.  He lived in the same town I did until I was 12.  Even when he lived in the same town we did, he was never interested in me.  My brother was the first born son, and ended up being the only boy, so he mattered. Kindof.  In the end, he ended up hating dad much more than I did.  I remember when dad lived here, brother had his room tiled because he had allergies.  I tested with higher allergies, but oh well.  Brother had a tv in his room, and I had... oh wait.  I had books I brought from my mom's house.  After dear old daddy-o got remarried to the evil bitch of the west tho, I started having to hide them.  Step-bitch would take any book from me she deemed inappropriate.  Good-bye Steven King, hello staring at the wall. Goddess knows we weren't allowed to just hang out in the living room, because, well, I don't understand that either.  We were probably too loud for my dad's football game.  You may have noticed I don't capitalize the word "dad".  I have no connection to the word, and am merely using it in place of his name, which I won't even put the effort into changing or letting people know who he is.  He knows who he is.  I started therapy and counciling early because of him.  I learned to be disconnected to the idea of a father figure, partially because of him, and the rest because of my mother's second husband.  Thanks to counciling and therapy I can say now I am not angry, I do not hate them.  However, we had a boat rocking.

I didn't realize this until I had already accepted it, but my dad added me on a major social network.  I realized he was there, and questioned him. Why?  You've never cared about me, why?  He said basically, I have always loved you.  I always have wanted to be in your life.  I answered with this.
"Its not that i dont want you in my life, ive waited for years, literally all of my life for you to be involved/care. I'm 27 now, and have a five year old, your only grandson and first grandchild, whom you have never met. Its honestly a bit strange to think of you as a real person sometimes, you seem like a character in a fairy story Ive only heard about. You removed yourself from my life a long time ago, and through years of therapy i learned to not hate you for it. I just dont understand the sudden interest in me or my life. Hell the only reason you knew when my birthday is is because facebook told you. You have never called me on my birthday on purpose. Do you even know that Christopher moved to nebraska? Or that I'm engaged? Christopher got married twice and you didnt show up for either of his weddings. I guess what im trying to say is I don't know why you seem to have woken up one day and remembered that you had 4 kids instead of 2. I don't know what you want out of this, but if its to be a parent and a father youre fucking late. REALLY FUCKING LATE. I grew up without a dad because you decided for whatever reason to not be there. Don't mistake what im saying, I could give a shit less what your reasons were. I used to try and comfort myself with the thought there was some magical reason that would force a man to leave his baby girl, but as the years went by that i just must have never mattered to you. YOU ABANDONED YOUR CHILDREN FOR A NEW LIFE. Youve lived that life, and now you look back with regrets? Me too. I regret I never had a father to talk to, to protect me, to love me. Youve shown me how hard it is for a child to be left behind like an old pair of shoes in a closet forgotten in a move. Filed away to never be thought of again. I appriciate the fact you paid your child support, but that was all youve done for me, other than making sure i would never do the same to my own child. My therapist says thats why I was involved with Tristyns dad, who beat and abused me and then left me with his child never to be heard from again. Coming back around, what do you want out of this? To be involved again? To be in my life? You have a couple of choices here, but if you want to be in my life, its going to be hard. Its too hard for me to have you just be a voice on the phone once or twice a year. It feels like youre doing the bare minimum for reasons unknown. It feels forced. Get back to me on this, or if you decide its not worth it/too hard, just unfriend me and we'll go back to where we were."

Granted, this may have been a bit dramatic.  I wanted to make sure I got everything off my chest that I always wanted to say to him.  For the record, he did write me back a couple of times, but it ended up being... nothing.  No I want to see you, just a "can't we look at the future instead of the past?".  Yeah, right.  The last man to say that to me ended up cheating on me with 4 people I knew about.  So I think I'm going to live and learn on this one. 

This is coming to the surface for me on a couple of fronts, the one I just described, and the one with boyfriend.  James is awesome and I love him dearly, but he never sees his kids.  He pays his child support to the point it breaks him, he pays more than he keeps by far, but he never sees his girls.  They are his children, and it is his relationship, but I don't want them to hate him.  There is a very good chance they will. 

To put the icing on the cake, my renewal date for my restraining order against Louis' dad.  He beat me in front of my mother's house last year.  The lovely police in my town decided to barely prosecute, so my violent felon ex got unsupervised probation for trying to kill me and pushing me out of a moving car.  Nice, right?  I'm contemplating whether I should just let it lapse, since I already have a No Contact order that lasts until September.  I've moved 3 times since he knew where I lived, and I'm not worried about him finding me.  Even if he did, I'm not sure he would do anything.  When James and I first got together, I was a bit worried about DouchieCock seeing us together and beating James.  Now I'm wondering if he's even still alive.  Maybe he's gone away and I'll never see him again, but I doubt I'm that lucky.  Meth does ugly things to a person.

Men.  Ugh.  Where is my private island that has no problems and a daiquiri fountain?

February 9, 2012

Chicken Says No

So James and I were at work, and he and David were in the back.  David informs me, out of the blue in his usual fashion, "Did you know they did a study with men and chickens, and tested how they would respond to attractive women?  The chickens responded 99% or something the same as the men.  As to whether they were attractive I mean."
"What?  Really?"  So now I'm going to get clocked by a chicken?  Damn.
"Yeah, next time I meet a girl that says she's hot, and she isn't, I'm going to pull out a chicken, and look at her and say, 'Chicken says no.'"
"Well Dave, its important to have standards."

I love most of the kids I work with.  Dave is fun.  Melissa and Sofie are also fun.  Melissa and Sofie are best friends and we all play with Punk Pony and Sherburt. We all get along pretty well.  Then we have Penny.  Penny is... well sometimes she tries.  However, the fact she is a raging bitchface all the time, delights in ordering people around, and is completely useless and only manages to get in the way, seems to be getting in the way of her connecting with pretty much anyone else in the store.  I can't stand an obvious toady kiss-ass.  Penny watches the bosses' kids sometimes and goes to their house and won't shut the fuck up about it.  Then I remember that I have a high school kid's job and want to shoot myself for a moment.  This is the least amount of money I've earned since I was 18, and the strain is showing.  Bah.  Tomorrow is another day, I just need to keep moving forward.


February 7, 2012

Women Under Attack

Once again, misogyny is masquerading as public policy.  Planned Parenthood is getting their budget cut by the government and Susan G. Komen for the Cure.  Roe vs Wade is under attack from religious organizations.  In the media there is an argument about whether women should have access to birth control and breast cancer screenings.  Granted, today (Feb 3rd, 2012) Komen reversed its decision, but finally the American people had their attention brought to the plight of women's reproductive issues.  Any nation is in a pitiful state when sex enhancements like Viagra are available almost on every corner, but birth control takes almost an act of congress. I'm lucky, there is a sliding scale public health/ women's reproductive clinic in my town (They're here)  Where I can go to get any general exam, like a breast exam or my annual reproductive physical.  However, in the entire state of Wyoming there are no doctors willing to perform abortions.  It is difficult for anyone in this country in a rural area to receive even basic reproductive care, and for the first nation on the moon, that is a senseless tragedy.

Women are not breeding cattle.  I am against abortion in theory, but only in theory.  As someone who has had an abortion, I can say that it was one of the hardest decisions of my life.  It is not a spa weekend.  It is a hard ordeal with meetings with doctors and counselors, to ensure the woman is making an informed decision. There is a physical exam, and after the procedure (which is outpatient surgery, but still is surgery) there is a significant recovery time.  It was a horrible ordeal, but according to my situation, it was the only choice.  I support every woman's right to choose what she wants to do with her body, as long as she is a legal adult.   I knew a girl when I was in high school that had three abortions by the time she was 21.  She also was a drunk and a meth head, a hard core party girl.  If there was no abortion, what kind of life would those children have?  What if Mommy was strung out on drugs the entire time she was pregnant?  With no abortion, many more children should be born addicted to drugs, and go on to live neglected and possibly be abused because they weren't wanted.  These children also could end up in the foster system, and choke out an already clogged system.

If we lived in a country where women's health was a priority, and there was no stigma on birth control, there would be a much lower birth rate, and women would have more control about the size of their families and abortions would be as easy to get through any doctor as, say, fixing a broken leg.  However, abortions would go down because they would be much less necessary.  Why is there even an argument about this anyway?  Women have the right to go out and do just about anything else with their bodies including sell them in certain parts of Nevada.  Why not this?  I've heard the argument that they should be illegal, "for the children".  What about these children after they're born?  There are social services, but what if someone doesn't want to turn their whole life around and become a parent?  Adoption is an option for some, but what about people that can't continue doing their jobs while pregnant?  What about those people that react strongly to being pregnant?  I remember with my son I threw up for the first 5 or 6 hours I was awake every day, starting at 2 months.  I am very lucky I'm not a surgeon or an air traffic controller, I would have been screwed.  Some people can't just take a year off of their lives for many reasons. 

Reproductive rights in this country are in more trouble than usual.  As it stands, laws in the last year have been reviewed to charge pregnant women as criminals for miscarrying.  Roe vs Wade has been threatened for years by the religious right, now masquerading as powerful republicans.  2010 vote in Colorado to ban abortion and hormonal birth control, thankfully lost but the fact it was up for a vote scares me.  Another one in Mississippi lost also, but again, was voted on.  Contraception itself is under attack, and that is just crazy.  I understand that most people are against "promiscuity", but really, contraception prevents disease and pregnancy, not morals.  Some current presidential candidates are attacking abortions for women who are victims of rape and incest.  Like victims need the indignity of asking the government for the right to do something with their already violated bodies.  I can't imagine having to make an impossible choice with an already horrific situation, but if I did, I would want the freedom to make a choice with my doctor to make a choice with my body.  I am not government property, and I should not be treated as such.  It's my body, and when everything else in life goes to hell, what else do you have?  Our bodies are the basis of what and who we are, and if we don't have freedom with them, what else do we have?  The government as a parental figure is all we are left with.

February 4, 2012

Random thoughts for the day...

Narcissists think they rule, but everyone hates them.

I don't care who you are, bad plastic surgery looks like bad plastic surgery.

Grown men that whine make me want to punch myself in the face.  Shut your facehole!

I love these guys 

Yes, I know wrestling is fake.  No, I don't care. 

These guys also rule

Katt Williams - Funny at 2am.  William Shatner - Funny never.  Lisa Lampenelli - funny always.

Cancer Sucks!

There are worse things than having a small penis.  No, not cancer.  (Cancer does suck though.)  I would rather sleep with a guy that has a small penis that gets in there and works it and does what he needs to do like eating a bitch out, than a lazy mofucka with a big dick that just throws his dick at you.  Most guys end up on the spectrum somewhere.
Some guys are just awful.  I was with a guy once that literally punched me in the clit.  I have no idea why, he just punched me in the clit.  I asked him why he would do something like that and he said, "I thought you liked it rough."  What?  What the hell does that have to do with rough sex?  We weren't even having sex, I was watching a movie naked.  Fuck this, dude.

Mmmmmm I love watching American Dad!

These guys help pay for my shoe collection!  Yay for advertisers!

detroit tigers baseball tickets 
boston red sox tickets texas rangers baseball tickets
Ticketamerica.com has tickets for the top american league teams including the texas rangers and the detroit tigers as well as the boston red sox tickets.

February 3, 2012

Voter's Search for Truth vol 2

First stop in America's basic two party system, Democrats and Republicans. At first look, they may seem innocuous.  Do not be fooled!  I joke.  Seriously though, lets check out my first stop.  I started here.

The first thing I noticed was Mitt Romney's name on their banner twice.  My first thought was Isn't he a republican? Dingdingding I win!  He is.  I hate how easily mudslinging comes to these politicians now.  We call that talking shit where I come from, and its enough to get your mouth slapped off in some circles.  Anyhoo, 5 out of the 9 featured stories on their front page are about Republicans.  Strange that they are presenting themselves as advertising for the "other side".  That's it for a quick glance, onto something else.

Next it was onto GOP Headquarters.  Their front page was very crowded, but full of their own people.  About half of it looked to be current representatives complaining about either the president or current policies.  Isn't that always the way.  I find it hard to sum up this giant clusterfuck, so I will save it for the in depth look.

~ADD Break~  I swear I just saw some guy singing Eye of the Tiger on The Cobert Report.  *shakes head violently*  Weird.  Onto the next voter's choice!!

Steven Colbert decided to end his bid for President.  Sad day.

On to someone I had never heard of, Stewart Alexander.  They have a list of points which I can get behind, from affordable housing for everyone to legalizing marijuana and taxing it like cigarettes.  However, I see a big word that worries me.  SOCIALISM.  Granted I may have spent too much time with my McCarthy era grandparents, but that word gives me pause.  According to Dictionary.com, socialism is "a theory or system of social organization  that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the community as a whole." Ok, that doesn't sound too scary.  Unless we don't get to pick who we work with, because I know a lot of lazy bastards around here.  Share and share alike is a great theory and works in small groups, but too many people are lazy assholes and think the world owes them a living.  Perhaps.  

Tata for now!  Next time, we'll finish looking at the independent candidates and then, the world!   Muahahahahaha! 

February 2, 2012

A Voter's Search for the Truth, vol. 1

Tired of feeling like things are happening around you that you do not understand? Inform yourself!  I am now involving myself in the fight against ignorance, and what is happening in this country scares me.  It scares me to death.  I have heard some things here and there about different politicians, but this is a quest for the truth!  Or at least a quest to find the least horrific of the choices presented.  Gosh, I've read in the history books about presidents being leaders of men and loved by their country.  What happened to that?  It probably went wherever legal and democratic elections for president went.  Perhaps this is a grim outlook, but every election presents hope.  Hope for not just another sideshow but something of substance, something worth voting and fighting for.  A reason for Americans to call themselves Americans instead of southern Canadians.  Here we shall explore the magical bullshit we call politics!  Whee!

Drama in the LBZ

Drama drama drama.  Don't we all say we don't want it, don't want anything to do with it, and get it away?  I up until recently had a roommate I had known for a long time.  She ended up treating me like her housemaid and overcharging me for a room.  Granted, she took me and my son when we were homeless, but that is no reason to yell at my kid for not picking up after your kids.  Sandy also had 4 large dogs she refused to walk or pay attention to, so they would eat anything from toys to clothing.  She was a terrible parent, and was supposed to have full custody of her kids.  Sandy would drop her kids off at their dad's house and refuse to come back for them for at least a week.  She constantly had new guys over for the night, and wanted me to "cover for her".  None of this would be a big issue by itself, but all of these together along with me "needing to pay attention to her" made me want to punch myself in the face everyday.  Sandy would wake me up by screaming my name over and over so she could tell me about all of the guys she had fucked the night before, and so i could tell her she was pretty.  The last time she woke me up I told her to get a boyfriend and leave me alone.  She said she was too busy "seeing what she could get for a gold pussy" but ended up sleeping with one guy for over a week because he bought her a car.  The next one I guess is buying her a house and a ring, but I moved out before that happened.  I was tired of them asking me why my boyfriend bought me so many different flowers.  He didn't, that was just all of the different guys she was banging.  A couple of them got seriously pissed when he laughed and said he didn't buy me flowers.

So Sandy had sent me a couple of texts since I moved, that were basically pay me my money (which I don't owe her).  I finally got pissed about it last time, about a week ago.  I called her a bloody cunt rag and told her to get off her high horse, I don't owe her shit.  Then today, I saw her on a social networking site, and it pissed me off again.  I wrote a lot of ugly things to her and about her where everyone and God could see it.  She sent me a message about how I need to grow up.  So there wasn't any more miscommunication, I called her.  I informed Sandy she needed to learn some manners and lose my number, because I was tired of her stupid bullshit.  It amazes me that simply telling someone you despise how you feel about them and asking them to crawl into a hole and die seems to only yield them insulting me, or in this case silence, and not their death as hoped.  Ah, well.  Bah.  I know perhaps... it was childish for me to continually insult her with no real provocation on her part.  I also know I would have just been waiting for the next time she decided to be an asshole to someone and remembered me.  So, Sandy is on my People I wouldn't Piss on if they Were on Fire list.  I hope she enjoys it, the douchie-queen.

I must confess, when someone has angered me  to the point that I am sure I no longer want to have anything to do with them ever again, I do enjoy unleashing a stream of well timed, colorful, and suicide-inducing insults.  Yay for hobbies!

February 1, 2012

Classic Movies, like Scream

I find myself watching one of the greatest movies of all time, Smokey and the Bandit.  A friend of mine on the couch here has never seen it.  It makes me think, what qualifies as a classic movie?  For some, it is a movie that has "stood the test of time", whatever that means.  For me, a classic movie is one I can watch until my eyeballs bleed.  I change my mind about everything in the world far too often to have just one favorite anything, but some movies everyone needs to see.  Its like growing up with no calcium, you end up twisted.  My top 20 classics in no particular order:

1) Smokey and the Bandit - A charming story with Sally Field, Burt Reynolds, a black trans am, and beer.  Yay beer!

2) Bull Durham - Some of life's best wisdom with baseball and Susan Sarandon.  For instance, weddings, "Honey, we all deserve to wear white."

3) Blues Brothers - Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi gold.  Soul music heaven with cameos from almost every major soul and R&B artist worth talking about.

4) Die Hard - Bruce Willis is so hot.

5) Fifth Element - Same as above with better special effects.

6) The Rocky Horror Picture Show - Tim Curry, dancing in a G string.  Need I say more?

7) Wayne's World  - Dana Carvey and Michael Myers are hilarious, with the greatest headbanger soundtrack ever!

8) To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar  - Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, and John Leguizamo in drag.  A must for anyone that has ever used the word "fabulous"  

9) The Princess Bride - Sword fights, giants (Andre the Giant), Rodents of Unusual Size, Romance, Pirate ships, this movie has everything. Everything plus Fred Savage!

10) Goodfellas - The mob is scary awesome!

11) White Christmas - Irving Berlin, awesome clothes, and funny as hell!!!

12) Hackers - Angelina Jolie when she was still hot and Matthew Lillard when he was still funny.

13) Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory - Gene Wilder rocks the house in this.  If you haven't heard him sing Pure Imagination, kill yourself.

14) Hocus Pocus - Bette Midler = fantasmical songstress, Sarah Jessica Parker = Blonde Bimbo,  Kathy Najimy = creepy as hell. Best halloween movie hands down.

15) Monty Python's Meaning of Life - My fave philosophy movie.  Really does have the meaning of life.

16) The Evil Dead - I know it is a series, but the cheesy effects really rock with one liners such as "This is my BOOM STICK!" Can't be beat.

17) Back to the Future - Another trilogy, this one is Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd with a time machine.  Who has two thumbs and loves the 80s?  This girl!

18) The Last Unicorn - The entire soundtrack done by America, and a flaming red bull.  Perfect for little kids!  I only had nightmares for years.

19) Chicago - He had it comin'.  Classic musical about women murderers in the 1930sish.  Many songs are done in lingerie, but they are scary.

20) Clerks - Kevin Smith's breakout  black and white film about the people that work and live with a convenience store.  If you have ever worked a crap job behind a register, watch this.  Someone finally gets it.

I no longer have copies to all of these movies which sucks, but the pawn shop beckons when money is short. Three months ago I lost a little over 100 movies to a pawn shop.  I wish I had made enough money to get them out, but if wishes were pigs bacon would always be on sale.  Thank goodness I can buy any movies I want at Movie Buff.  Cheapest movies ever, and they're all in playing shape.  Hell, I scored the Back to the Future Boxed set for about $5.  Find them here
Movie Buff Store