September 26, 2014


I'm horrible at strategy games.  Ridiculous amounts of horrible.  My cousins all wanted to play chinese  checkers with me when we were kids because I always lost.  A few years ago, a person I was dating tried to teach me chess.  I will play games like that for the fun of it, but I go in knowing I'm going to lose.  By teach, I mean call me names and make fun of me the entire time and refuse to be useful.  So he captures most of my pieces, and laughs at me until I told him I could win in one move.
Jerkface - "There's no way."

Me - "No, seriously.  In one move."
Jerkface - "How?  I don't believe you."

I upended the board, scattering pieces everywhere while yelling, "Sheblam bitch I win!"

Jerkface - "What the f&*: Cody?!?  You can't win like that!"

I sat down calmly in the ruin of gameness.  " Yes, I can and did.  Weren't you looking?" I replied.

Jerkface was sputtering, " But... but... that's against the rules!"

"Says who?"

"Its in the rulebook!  You can't win by just throwing the board!" He was really starting to get angry now.

"Well, I have a book that says woodland creatures live in a medival abby and have adventures.  Is that true too?  I think you're just mad I thought of it first." 

I left him red faced and sputtering. 

September 6, 2014

Bucket List

Ever since the movie "The Bucket List" came out, I've been hearing people talk about theirs.  A bucket list is a list of things you want to accomplish before you die.  Maybe its because we are American this idea appeals to us so much.  Our jobs and industries, culturally, have no real meaning anymore.  We work too long at jobs we hate to buy crap we don't need.  A bucket list gives us a sense of purpose, and makes us feel like we've lived life.  Me personally, i love lists.  So of course, I'm working on mine. 

1- Quit smoking

2- Take Tristyn out of the country.

3- Publish a book, even if I'm selling it out of my car.

4- Be fluent in Spanish again.

5- Learn to speak Italian, then go to Italy.

6- Sing on a stage

7- Visit Russia

8- Ride a speedboat thru the canyons in New Zealand

9- Play with a member of the large feline family

This is what i have so far, but I need ideas.  For gawd's sake, I'm going off Dr. Dorian in Scrubs.  Do you remember that show?  Better question- What is on your bucket list?  Tell me in the comments!

September 3, 2014


Off my schedule, out of my mind.  Its the first week of school and now I have to get up at 6:45am, do meal planning, etc.  Puke.  Sometimes this stuff makes me want to run screaming into the hills.

So, I stayed way too late at my friend Kathys.  Ooops.  Its been nothing but stress in my house.  First week of school, tension with Marcus, scheduling, forgetting to walk the dog then he trashes the house multiple times because he's a bored airedale.  Also a douche-dog.  Bah!  Don't forget the 5,000 other things I'm worried about, like being overweight and needing new glasses.  I can't sleep.  My internal clock is still on summer, but the child person gets all whiny if you don't feed him.  In fact, if the food isn't forthcoming, there's 2 cats, a dog, a cockatiel, & a 7 yr old all yelling at you.  Every time I thought I wanted a baby (except once) I've gone out and gotten a furry one.  This ends up with lots of fur everywhere, but cheaper than kids.  Less work if you keep to cats.