January 31, 2012

Louis the T Rex

Louis the T Rex
Day 2:  Yes, my son introduces himself to people as a Tyrannosaurus Rex/ninja/zombie.  That wrestles.  I have outlawed banana-hammocks (speedos) in the house, but James insists on recording professional wrestling, and suplexing Louis, which of course, Louis loves.  I would complain, but I love watching it too.  Yes, I know it is fake, I even told Louis it was fake.  I like it for the choreography involved.  Fight scenes, especially believable ones, are incredibly difficult to pull off.  Especially since no one wants to get hurt, at least not permanently.  He thinks that is pretty cool too.

Louis is homeschooled, mostly because his birthday was too late for him to enter kindergarten this last year, and I can't afford daycare.  I do my own version of teaching, where we lean heavily on self-sufficiency and fine motor skills, since my man is well versed in his major motor skills, as evidenced by my many bruises and nightmares about living in the middle of the X-Games.  For those that don't know, that means he does finger stuff like writing and crochet because he can already run, jump and kick like a UFC champ.  He knows kungfu.

365 or Creativity Gone Awry

I have been hearing a lot about these 365 projects.  The only problem I have with them is my inability to remember I'm doing them after day 4 or so.  So here I go, I'm going to take a picture for every day.  Today's picture is...
James the Boyfriend
 He is enjoying one of his favorite pastimes, ignoring me.  Well, he says he isn't ignoring me, but the only time I can get consistent eye contact with him is if I ride him, and really that is only after he drops the controller.  No, a blowjob doesn't make him pay attention to me, but getting one while playing Saint's Row makes me the "best girlfriend ever!"  Dammit. Roommate says I'm not allowed to hang out during gamer time anymore too.  Just messing.

Aloha to My Immune System

I am Coia's sandpapery throat.  *hack, hack*  Stupid cold.  I'm on the couch watching game shows with Ty and feeling my head bounce on the ceiling.  My nose is stuffed like a turkey and I keep getting light-headed.  Damn you, seasonal cold.  I hope you get a virus, you and your computer!

We had a fallen soldier in the fish tank.  One of my roommate's swordtails had bitten the dust.  He figured it was me adding water to the tank combined with the move a month ago.  I asked him how old it was, he had no idea.  I asked him how long he had it, again, another shrug.  I love how men keep track of things.

Louis informed me today that if a giant fish-man broke into the house and tried to attack me, he would punch it in the face.  It's nice to know I'm covered, but I do live a bit far from the ocean.  Like 1,200 miles or so.  I love children's imaginations, especially my bloodthirsty little monster.  The sweet boy that he is, of course.  He is a really good kid, but sometimes he does things that make me say, "I understand that there were several different impulses that came together for this situation, but for the life of me I have no idea what they could be."  Like the time my son walked into my mother's kitchen with a transforming car-thingie snapped around his penis.  Or the time I saw him tie his penis around the neck of one of his dinosaurs.  Or about a half to a third of the things he does, since he's 5 yrs old.  It's like living with a midget on a permanent acid trip.

Speaking of people on permanent acid trips, how about Newt Gingrich?  Planning out the society of people on the moon when we haven't been there in say, a minute, is crazy.  Not to mention the fact that there is no current proven technology to keep people alive for a long period of time in a self-sustaining fashion.  I love how Newt is the conservative golden boy with their long history of "family values".  He's on his, what, 5th wife?  And how many mistresses?  Mudslinging, and a sideshow is all he's good for.  I predict he's a stalking horse.

Oooooh, Mr. Mitt Romney you done fuuuuuckered up.  I do think the whole, "I don't make much ($350,000+) a year from speeches."  Is as much of a big deal as people have blown it out of proportion, when some other presidential campaigners have had personal estates in the billions.  I understand, perhaps, compared to other candidates that is small change.  To many American families, including my own, that is far more money than we will see this year.  Hell, than me, boyfriend, and roommate will see in 5 years.  The question is, what does he do with that money?  The answer seems to be, put it in the Cayman Islands and refuse to release your tax returns like most other campaigners already have.  Hmmm.  But have no fear folks, he isn't hiding anything. Riiiiiiiight.  And then you do release them, and they don't make any sense.  Why?!? But I guess I'm just repeating the same thing everyone else is.

Big problem: Mitt Romney thinks Gay people should just choose to not be Gay.  Great.  The last thing this country needs is one more person in power choosing how the populace should live their lives.  The Romneys seem to believe that sending gay children to un-gay camp is a healthy option, when all it seems to lead to is "relapse" and depression, possibly suicide.  Pray away your gay kiddos!  That probably has something to do with why they have been thumbs down by the medical establishment.  And now the anti-gay, pro gay flip flopping comes out, as it was reported that Mitt was in charge of a LGBT group to help cut down on suicides, which he disbanded in his run for president.

When is a presidential candidate going to come along that will care about all of their constituents?  It sickens me the way most people in power in this country seem to be so careless with their responsibilities.  They make short-term decisions that benefit their greed, and screw the American people.  The only reason they get away with it, is most of us have no idea what to do about it.  Or, are not paying attention.  IF YOU ARE NOT OUTRAGED YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION!!!!!!

Mornings and the Ugly Face of Addiction

I'm sitting here contemplating why I decided to kick my soda habit.  Sure, it's eating away at my teeth, is incredibly bad for me and is probably one of the major reasons I'm... soft and comfortable to cuddle with.  But I decided to quitish.  At least cut down from between a twelve pack of soda a day (almost) too much less corn syrup and sugar.  The lack of caffeine is making me feel crabby though.

As for the ugly face of real addiction, I am going to quit smoking cigarettes. I am 27, have been smoking since I was 14, and have on average spent roughly $24,000 just on cigarettes, probably more.  As someone on a "fixed" income (that is code for super-poor) that is a huge amount of money.  I have an electronic cigarette, which I have been using, and it works kind of.  I feel the nicotine which is good, but the weight is wrong and it doesn't have that delicious burning.  The burning, I know, is killing me.  I can feel it.  The problem is, a little death makes me feel alive.  I have to live another 13 years minimum for Louis, and preferably longer.  I want to see his wedding and such.

~So, I bought a new electronic cigarette, and am semi excited to try it.  I had one before, but the store I bought it from went out of business and I couldn't find refills. Le sigh.  Isn't that always the way?  Lame sauce.  It is charging in my computer as we chat now, and I am a bit apprehensive.  This will work!  It has to.  I tried quitting cold turkey once, it sucked and I lasted maybe one whole day.  Ugh!  Living in a non-smoking house has cut down a lot on my cigarettes and Louis' colds. Duh.  I just figured that only smoking next to a window made it ok, but I guess not.  I feel like an idiot.  Just one of those lovely moments in parenting when you not only feel like the biggest idiot of earth, but the WORST. PARENT. EVER.  Oleander (the best drag sister ever) says "The Bad Mom Squad is coming to take me away."

This is Your Life

I found out I'm getting paid less than $300 for 2 weeks of work.  Who has 2 thumbs and is majorly irritated?  This chick.  Mostly at myself for getting myself into this situation.  No one to blame but myself and all that.  We will make it, we always do, I just wonder when I'm going to find a career I want that doesn't involve thousands in start-up costs.  Like a food van.  A food van would be awesome!  Granted it would be long hours but I would love it.  I just don't happen to have over $100k lying around for a catering truck.  Hell, I can barely pay my rent.

I find myself looking at past poison in my life.  People and vices that were bad for me, are bad for me.  I think its time to do a phoenix and shed the old.  I am in a new relationship and sometimes I can actually feel the emotional baggage weigh me down.  Hopefully he won't figure out I'm crazy until he gives me a ring. Hopefully.  I remember past relationships, or relationshits as my little brother calls them.  I see the man I'm with for who he is (I think) but I also see past mistakes I've made, signs I should have seen.  Like random girls calling all hours of the night.  Or requesting anal, and being the catcher.  Should have seen... but regardless as to what the past was, I am here due to what has happened and I wouldn't change that for anything.  I have a wonderful man in my life that indulges me, worships me and helps me find my glasses with a minimal amount of teasing, what else could a girl ask for?  More money, but ain't that always the way?  I would much rather be here in poverty than with any other man who made more money.  Actually (don't tell James) but I was given that exact choice when we first, got together/hooked up but that is another story entirely.

Oooohhh!  I found the cord for my camera, so pics will now accompany my insane ramblings!  Yay!

Video Games and Such

Watching cartoons with Ty makes me realize what a 5 yr old I am.  Hmmm.  What to do today with my 5 yr old?  No car today, as a low-income family, we only have one and I slept through getting it for the day. Damn me.  Walkies in the snow?   Snow men! and Snow Ice cream!  Much better.  If not for the constant wind, it would be... dare I say it? Perfection.

Speaking of families, mine is interesting.  I was raised by a single mom, with one full-blood brother.  I ended up with 2 half sisters and a plethora of brothers and sister of another mother.  I am lucky to have so many people in my life I haven't been forced to kill.  Or at least maim.  I was blessed with a son/dinosaur 5 years ago, and raised him on my own up until... well now.  A couple of months ago I met James.  I started a new job, 3 days after meeting him I was in his bed.  That never happens, by the way. We've been inseparable ever since.  My son knows his bio-dad (unfortunately) and doesn't call James dad, but my son Louis is madly in love with my boyfriend.  Or fiancee, since last week he asked me to marry him.  Men suck.  I do love James, but he asked me to marry him when we were in bed.

Ok, heres the story.  So James and I, love at first sight, stayed every night (except for 2) for almost 3 months together, madly in love.  He says to me, "I really need a new phone."
"Ok baby."  I think This is a bit weird for post-nookie cuddle time conversation, but ok I guess.
"But I was thinking of buying something else with my next check."
"Like?" Groceries? A new video game?  PRESENTS FOR MEEEEEE????
"Oh, I was going to a jewelry store."
"For why?"  Presents for me?  Presents for me? Meee?????
"I was gonna buy you something."  He was smiling in the dark.  Smug bastard.
Now I was getting excited, "What?  What is it???  TELL ME!!!!"  What could it be?
"Its a surprise."
"Is it... earrings?" I wonder...
"Is it a necklace?"  Could it be a ring?
"No." I turned around and saw his satisfied smile, the one guys give you when they think youre such a cute little dumb woman.
"Is it a diamond studded tongue ring?"  I don't have piercings.
He gave me a look, "You already know what it is, don't you?"
"No.  Is it a clit ring with rubies?" I started laughing.  "Cuz that would be weird."
"No, baby.  Do you seriously not know?"
"Is it... a ring?  A shiny one?  A pretty shiny one that I can wave around and say 'Someone loves me enough to chain themselves to me forever!  In your faces, single bitches!' Something like that?"
"Wow, thats... exactly it. Oh, crap."
"I forgot to ask you to marry me."
Yeah, you did. You forgot the romantic in-front-of-my-family-on-your-knee-thing too. "Really? Oh, yeah I guess you did."
"Will you marry me?"
"Seriously?  We're in bed naked, we've known each other barely 2 months, and we just moved in together.  You sure you want to do this?"
"What do you mean?" He sounded a bit hurt now.
"James, I love you.  You are 21, and I'm 27.  Aren't you concerned about tying yourself to someone when youre this young?"
"No. I love you, and I want you forever."
And we were engaged.

And So It Begins, One Snowy Night

Originally posted 1/17/2012

I feel the need to write, and I am tired of losing my notebooks everywhere.  There, I admitted it.  I am terribly disorganized and a bit messy.  If you were to ask any of my friends however, I'm sure they would say its a miracle I can find pants much less matching shoes most of the time and should be nominated for the show "Hoarders".  Bitches.  Anyhoo, I'm sure there are at least a couple of excellent starts to million dollar bestseller novels that would start me on my destined path of the second coming of Oprah with more money and power, if only I could find them.  My poor boyfriend James puts up with so much crap.  But then so do I.  Nah, mostly he has to deal with me.  Ha!  I can't wait for the new RuPaul's Drag Race Season 4!!!  My best drag sister Oleander and I will wear tiaras and throw popcorn at the TV!  It shall be glorious. Get out your reading glasses darling, the library is open!

Best. Show. Ever.

January 30, 2012

New, Kindof.

I'm trying out the blogging tools on several websites, and this one seems to be working the best.  So, testing testing 1, 2, 3.