January 31, 2012

This is Your Life

I found out I'm getting paid less than $300 for 2 weeks of work.  Who has 2 thumbs and is majorly irritated?  This chick.  Mostly at myself for getting myself into this situation.  No one to blame but myself and all that.  We will make it, we always do, I just wonder when I'm going to find a career I want that doesn't involve thousands in start-up costs.  Like a food van.  A food van would be awesome!  Granted it would be long hours but I would love it.  I just don't happen to have over $100k lying around for a catering truck.  Hell, I can barely pay my rent.

I find myself looking at past poison in my life.  People and vices that were bad for me, are bad for me.  I think its time to do a phoenix and shed the old.  I am in a new relationship and sometimes I can actually feel the emotional baggage weigh me down.  Hopefully he won't figure out I'm crazy until he gives me a ring. Hopefully.  I remember past relationships, or relationshits as my little brother calls them.  I see the man I'm with for who he is (I think) but I also see past mistakes I've made, signs I should have seen.  Like random girls calling all hours of the night.  Or requesting anal, and being the catcher.  Should have seen... but regardless as to what the past was, I am here due to what has happened and I wouldn't change that for anything.  I have a wonderful man in my life that indulges me, worships me and helps me find my glasses with a minimal amount of teasing, what else could a girl ask for?  More money, but ain't that always the way?  I would much rather be here in poverty than with any other man who made more money.  Actually (don't tell James) but I was given that exact choice when we first, got together/hooked up but that is another story entirely.

Oooohhh!  I found the cord for my camera, so pics will now accompany my insane ramblings!  Yay!