May 2, 2012

My New Political Party and Twitter Trends Are Fun

I'm calling my new political party Legalize Logic (#LegalizeLogic) because it seems like there is no logic left in our government.  It really concerns me.  If you think of something that is logical we need to fix or change, throw it on twitter!  Happy May Day and revolution time kiddies! 

15 Things I Think About While Texting You:

1) I am so drunk right now.

2) Why isn't there a sarcasm font?

3) Why would I ever send you a picture of me naked/want to see a picture of you naked?

4) I wonder if you know I'm putting you on my blog?

5) Are you aware that most words in English have vowels?

6) I wonder if you remember you used that line like a week ago on me?

7) Has that line ever really worked?

8) I hate forwards.

9) When I tell you I hate you and want you to die of Gonorrhea of the face, I will not give you sex as a consolation prize, so quit asking.

10) Why are you updating me on the state of your penis?

11) I think I'm flashing back to the last time I threw my phone across the room.

12) When are they going to make the app where I press a button and a hand shoots out of your phone and slaps the shit out of you?  *patent pending*

13) Why did you send me the same message 35 times?!? Was I not fucking paying attention to you and perhaps living my goddamn life?!?  BAH!

14) Oh oops, that sounded kind of assholish/dirty.  Either way, I stand behind it.

15) Who the fuck are you again?

Geese are horrifying animals.  I have a phobia of them.  *insert laughing here*  I know, it's hilarious.  See my scariest shit ever pin board.  Geese!  When James found out, he laughed so hard he almost peed.  Of course, he found out because my mom threatened to push me out of the car next to a huge lake of the honking death machines and I freaked out a bit.  Douche canoes.  James decided that for April Fools he was going to dress up as a goose and get a goose call to chase me.  This apparently was so funny he had to tell me about it first.  I asked, "Do you know how I react when something scares me?  I immediately try to kill it."  Suddenly he didn't want to do it anymore.  Sissy.  He just lacks conviction I guess.