September 6, 2014

Bucket List

Ever since the movie "The Bucket List" came out, I've been hearing people talk about theirs.  A bucket list is a list of things you want to accomplish before you die.  Maybe its because we are American this idea appeals to us so much.  Our jobs and industries, culturally, have no real meaning anymore.  We work too long at jobs we hate to buy crap we don't need.  A bucket list gives us a sense of purpose, and makes us feel like we've lived life.  Me personally, i love lists.  So of course, I'm working on mine. 

1- Quit smoking

2- Take Tristyn out of the country.

3- Publish a book, even if I'm selling it out of my car.

4- Be fluent in Spanish again.

5- Learn to speak Italian, then go to Italy.

6- Sing on a stage

7- Visit Russia

8- Ride a speedboat thru the canyons in New Zealand

9- Play with a member of the large feline family

This is what i have so far, but I need ideas.  For gawd's sake, I'm going off Dr. Dorian in Scrubs.  Do you remember that show?  Better question- What is on your bucket list?  Tell me in the comments!

September 3, 2014

Off

Off my schedule, out of my mind.  Its the first week of school and now I have to get up at 6:45am, do meal planning, etc.  Puke.  Sometimes this stuff makes me want to run screaming into the hills.

So, I stayed way too late at my friend Kathys.  Ooops.  Its been nothing but stress in my house.  First week of school, tension with Marcus, scheduling, forgetting to walk the dog then he trashes the house multiple times because he's a bored airedale.  Also a douche-dog.  Bah!  Don't forget the 5,000 other things I'm worried about, like being overweight and needing new glasses.  I can't sleep.  My internal clock is still on summer, but the child person gets all whiny if you don't feed him.  In fact, if the food isn't forthcoming, there's 2 cats, a dog, a cockatiel, & a 7 yr old all yelling at you.  Every time I thought I wanted a baby (except once) I've gone out and gotten a furry one.  This ends up with lots of fur everywhere, but cheaper than kids.  Less work if you keep to cats.

August 30, 2014

100 Posts!

In the spirit of our 100 post milestone, I will be revamping the blog!  Please let me know in the comments things you like, things you hate, etc.  We are getting a serious makeover!  Whooo!

And now, onto the regular content: What pisses me off today. Today, I saw a gofundme that reeeeeeeeaaaalllllyyyyy irritated me. These people have 6 Kids together, and one more they pay support on. She is a "freelance" tatoo artist (kitchen tattoo anyone?) And he works. Ish. I guess. I don't know man, but when I hung out with him in my early 20s his Grandma paid his bills. Anyway, I guess they moved into a new house and now the Mom and youngest both have medical bills, which sucks. But they can't pay for all of these things now, so they're elicting money online. Alms, alms for the poor, and you don't even have to leave your house to beg for money now. Nice, right? Now they say that they need the money for medical bills, which i get. But they go on to talk about their new house they have to pay for, and I saw some bitching they'd only raised $150 or so. Granted we have a broken healthcare system, but its fucked up to talk about how you need money for your sick baby (why in Goddess' name do you have 7?!?) and you really need money for your new house and bullshit. Ugh. I'm not going to say poor people shouldn't have kids, or nice things.  Its pretty fucking stupid to have your own baseball team when you're poor though.  Kids are horrifically costly, both money wise and time wise.  Every time you have a child, you play roulette with a multitude of potential issues, even if you have no family history.  That ups the cost significantly.  I also saw them talking about how they don't qualify for assistance.  With that many kids, to not qualify means they are bringing in quite a bit of money.  They posted that if everyone on their friends list donated $25, they'd have $3,000+ because they really need it.  Yeah, who has an extra $25?  And if you do, do you give it away?  Me personally, I give to charities, usually involved with animal rescue.  In order to receive monetary help from any place I've ever heard of, you have to fill out applications and bring in lots of proof you're poor.  Not so with gofundme.  So what do you do with spare money?

August 29, 2014

Flare Town

Population : Me.  I feel good, then an hour later I'm down.  I'm folding laundry, Next I'm nauseous.  Id say I wish it would pick something, but it usually picks comatose.  I feel like I never really get anything done.  I'm so tired.  I sleep a lot, and still feel tired.  Sometimes the only time i feel well enough to function its time for me to go to bed so i can get up and take care of the Mr. Man.  I feel bad for not being a better housekeeper, or active parent.  I can be boring.  Ah, well.  I did have a fun moment with Marcus yesterday.  We were joking around, and I entered "buttsex" in the search bar on Netflix.  This is what happened.



Yes.  Magic School Bus is totally what I meant. 
In other news, school is starting .  Any parent of a special needs child can tell you that can be a special slice of hell.  Not only do we have to start in with a new schedule, but new busses, new class helpers, etc.  Wheeeeee.  So by the time Tristyn the boy gets used to his schedule and new people, its Christmas break.  

August 8, 2014

Fruitcakes

Jimmy Buffet was right, fruitcakes are everywhere, and where the fuck are THE JUINOR MINTS!?!  We need people that care.






My friend Rayne has a rainbow tail.  That's right, a fricken rainbow tail.  I want one!  Also, I really need a pair of those kitty ears that scan your brain and move.  With yer BRAIN WAVES.  Scifi fans get excited, we are one step closer to fully functioning cyborg costumes that you can run over all of those assholes that talked crap on Star Wars.  Ha ha bitches! 

On another note, there are some weird people out there.  Seriously weird people.  Not just your run of the mill, People of Walmart weird, there are some seriously deranged individuals out there.
From the Why-didn't-I-think-of-that insane:
Canary Suicides, the new dust collector
I've been waiting since 1985 for this shit!

To the what-the-hell-did-I-just-see:
Bacon is officially everywhere
I am the rainbow fox!

That's your moment of zen, people.










































Nervous Eater

My dog is an Airedale Terrorist I mean Terrier /Laborador Retriever. This means he absolutely has to be walked. Bare minimum for a well behaved Moose is an hour of walking once a day. Bare minimum for a Moose that doesn't eat loaves of bread and any food he can find on the counter is an hour of walkies once every 3 days. Beyond that he starts eating everything in the house including the child's toys. He can dump a trash can and strew everything in it from hell to breakfast in the time it takes me to smoke a cigarette. Whose fault is it? Mine because I didn't walk him. The 100lb puppy is not a house dog. I'm reasonably sure unless you live in a castle, no 100lb puppy is a house dog.

Speaking of dogs, a lot of the people I see rehoming them really make me want to scream.  "Free to good home, German Sheppard.  Got too big for the kids."  How big did you think a German Sheppard is?  Ugh, people. 

July 24, 2014

Did someone drag me behind a horse and i just forgot?

Ughaghugh.  I'm so tired.  I'm watching season 4 of RuPaul's Drag Race, and Moose hunting flies.  I've drank a pot of coffee, had a hour and a half nap, and still feel like I'm going to die.  I just can't survive on 4 hours of sleep anymore.  I'm 29 and far too old for this shit. 

In other news, we went camping!  Whooo!  We've got an ADHD 7yr old, ADD 5 yr old, and a 4 yr old.  Oh god what did i do? So technically this isn't a real post yet.  This is a post to let you know I didn't forget about you, I just ran away from civilization.  I almost didn't come back, but I ran out of underpants.