July 27, 2012

From Brownie Pudding With Love

I've been thinking about my late Great-Grandma Wilma lately. She was Swedish, and very proud. I loved the red traditional horse painted in her kitchen. Wilma used to serve all 5 billion and 6 of us kids this delectable and chocolatey wonderment she dubbed “Brownie Pudding”. In her words, I present her recipe for quiet and happy children, made with love.

Sift ½ cup flour, 1 tsp. Baking powder, ½ tsp salt, 1/3 cup sugar, 1 Tblsp cocoa. Add ¼ cup milk, 1 Tblsp melted butter, ½ tsp. Vanilla. Stir in ¼ cup chopped nuts; pour into 9' piepan. Mix ½ cup packed brown sugar & 2 Tblsp cocoa; sprinkle on batter. Pour ¾ cup boiling water over top. Bake @ 350 degrees F for 35 minutes. Serve with whipped or pour cream.

I have days where I need comfort food, and this will fix any problem you may have, except weight loss. But it is so freakin delicioso that you won't care, baby. I've been thinking about my Uncle Guy, her son, a lot too. He would make flutes out of the cattails in Wilma's yard, and hand carved bowls that sat warm in your hands. One could feel the thousands of days of sunlight it took to grow the tree and create the curvacous and almost glassy feel to solid hardwood. Broomball, his sport of choice, was as like hockey as street ball is to basketball. I always wanted to visit him in his home, Alaska. We just never had the time, or money. I wish I hadn't taken my connection to a wonderful and amazing man for granted. Life goes on as it were, and I named my son after him, with his middle name. I hope I can teach my son to live life to the fullest the way he did, and to never take a relationship for granted.

On that note, I have a confession to make. I have been using fake names for people in my life. I was concerned about stalkers, pedophiles, and general psychos, but I see many other bloggers in the media (other than the internet) and as far as I know, no one has had their baby stolen. I mean, as far as I know. I wonder if they would put that in the paper, or something. Blogger's Baby Stolen, Returned Next Day Because The Child Was Quote “A Little Shit.” That would be my headline. Plus, what kidnappers would be equipped to deal with a 5 yr old? You can only scare them into quiet for so long, and then they make this horribly screetchy crying noise. It's fucking awful. Anyhoo, I can't keep track of all of these fake names, and don't tell but I think the fake name I used for BoyfriendFace could possibly have been an ex's name.... Ooops. Except for Oleander Cuppcake, which I know is probably the fakest sounding. That is her real Drag Name so it is what it is, Jive Turkey. Boyfriend is actually named Marcus, and my son is Tristyn Louis-Guy. I am Cody. Or, at least, her brain. Hi!!!!!!! (waves vigorously) Others from now on will keep their original names, unless I don't like them or think they are dumb. I also maintain that any story is true, and not true. No one can say. Who knows what dwells in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows.

Internet has been turned off a week early. Roommate was going to leave it until he could have it installed in his new apartment which I got 5 days notice he was moving into. My basement looks like a squatter's pad, and he took furniture he said we could keep. When we first moved in here, my mother brought over an antique wooden chair. He, his mother, and his step-father all claim that his mom whats-her-bitchface brought it over a couple of days before. Number one, why would you bring stuff over for his new house when you'll just have to move it again? Number two, I have date stamped photographic evidence it's mine. Why the hell would you steal one crappy wooden chair anyway? It just doesn't make any damn sense. I hate it when people are petty and do stupid shit. I think he took off with the paddles and puck for Tristyn's air hockey table. It's not him that bothered me, it was his family. One brother snotty and spoiled, the other one a total waste of carbon (thief and obsessive liar), and rude parents. Or maybe I'm being sensitive. Either way, I'm not glad to see the back of him, but that is all I will miss.

I officially have to make major life changes. I calculated my BMI at my doctor's office the other day. I wouldn't share the number if you put bamboo shoots under my nails, but we will call it a bit high. I am tired of feeling lumpy and uncomfortable in my body. It isn't a body image issue, I am literally uncomfortable just being in here. It hurts when I sit too long, I'm terribly out of shape, and I'm sick a lot more than I should be. I am currently 60 lbs heavier than I was when I became pregnant with Tristyn. I feel like I've let myself go, and that is not good. So Marcus will hook up my Wii so I can do the Wii Fit Plus, plus I have 5 lb weights I can use otherwise. That will at least get me started until I can buy a Chuck Norris home gym. It would be weird for me to become obsessed with exercise I think. I have heard of it happening though.

Phrase of the day: What in the fairying forest are you doing?

I want to move. My duplex isn't bad, but I would like to be able to have Tristyn's dog Dugee, and not worry about some drunk or stray wandering into my yard. Granted, I do not live in a bad part of town, but I live about three blocks from Methville.

July 24, 2012

My Brain is Bleeding

Out of work for 5 weeks sick.  First a kidney infection, then a lymph node infection, next a lower abdominal infection, now the bacteria that causes ulcers. I'm starting to think I should be dead.  I've been doing laundry for weeks and staring at these walls, driving me psycho. 

Roommate is moving.  Tyrone, James' best friend, is getting his own place.  Never again will I have to look at his brother Anton.  I haven't spoken of Anton before, mostly because he bugs me so much I want to punch myself in the face.  One of those people that states opinion as fact, and is unable to use or recognize logic.  Now, since everyone else in the house hates him, he won't be gracing us with his presence again hopefully.  Yay!  I rejoice in the sight of anyone, just some I enjoy the sight of them being pummeled more than anything.  Ugh, now he's in my house.  Apparently, he's been sitting in his car for awhile in front of my house, waiting for Tyrone to get home.  That isn't creepy at all.  So I'm in my bedroom, waiting for him to leave.  I just can't handle him being in my face anymore.  It may be childish to hide, but if he locks me out of my house and stands on the other side of the door laughing, I may be forced to skewer him on something.  Something sharp and pointy perhaps.  It drives me up the wall when someone is in their 20s and is less well behaved than my 5yr old.

I think I'm afraid of my job sometimes.  I know that 50+ hours a week is not unusual, but man it is going to be rough going back.  I'm tired just thinking about it.  I could stay in my comfort level, keep a small job like waitressing and spend most of my time at home on projects, and raising my son.  I've done that for more years than I care to think about, with nothing to show for it really.  I did get to spend a lot of time with my son which is wonderful, but I can't afford to replace his shoes.  I suppose there are tradeoffs in everything.

July 23, 2012

Recipe of the day lazy bastard stew

I am enjoying my Lazy Bastard Stew, how about you? My Grandpa calls it his secret recipe, which is random things thrown in a pot with hamburger, garlic, tomatos of some kind (stewed, diced, soup) and beef boullion.  Whoo!  I throw some fllour in mine and serve over biscuits so its like gravy.  Best easy comfort food ever.

So still sick.  Sitting at home listening to Glee albums (don't judge me) and playing Neopets, my fave game site! 

July 4, 2012

The hospital again? Next time Im reserving a better room

Back at the hospital this morning.  Before, I was told by the community health doctor that some of my symptoms weren't quite matching up so I may have other underlying problems than just the kidney infection.  Well they were right, my lymph nodes are infected as well, and I have been sent home with Hydrocodone.  Yay drugs! So I'm apologizing in advance, Goddess knows what I'll start rambling about.

I also found something cool!  Thanks to my hero Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess.
Well, she led me here but then I followed it to here.  Did you know there was such a thing as a Natural Landmark Registry?  Hell, I didn't.  Looks super awesome though.  One of my new hobbies, with this job especially, is planning fake vacations.  So, I "decided" (one of my grand plans, like when I was going to move to Bali and be a painter, except I can't paint) that James and I are going to buy an Airstream or 5th wheel of equal awesomeness and go camping everywhere awesome.  I have friends, Oleander included, that are not fans of camping.  The key is to doing it right.  I use a 6 man tent (I like my space, and standing) and a queen size air mattress.  I'm not big on "roughing it".  I do enjoy watching the moon from where I sleep, and evening breezes running their finger through my hair.  Waking up to birds, starting things on fire and cooking my food also makes me feel like Wonder Woman, all before 9am.  One of these days, I'm going to be cooking food I caught too.  Louis and I didn't catch one fish last year!  We had fun anyway.  That is what is important.

Random Shizzle I Found

My job rules compared to this.
Way cool travel books for evil monkeys.

too much hydro to write more.  Goodnight stalkers!

July 1, 2012

My Kidneys are Super Pissed

I, at this point, miss work.  I have been out for 2 weeks and it is driving me nuts.  You know there is nothing quite like an ER doctor looking at you and saying, "Either its a virus, or something more serious.  But we're going to release you, just come back if you aren't better."  WTF?!  So it turns out they shouldn't have released me, and I have a massive kidney infection.  Sweeeeet. 

And I'm not fired!  Also sweet!

So I was doing important internet research (or futzing around on Stumbleupon, whatever. Don't judge me.)  and I found a picture of somewhere awesome.  Check it out!  You know when you see a picture of somewhere, and you just think Can I go there?  Is that a real place?  I know, I'll sell everything I own and just move there, wherever that is.  I totally found one.  It just so happens to be in Croatia.   I just realized that I know nothing of this magical place, because I was picturing soviet soup lines and, like, dogs and people fighting over a shoe to eat, in the snow.  As it turns out, it is almost right next to Italy in the part of Europe where it turns from classy to, well, scary if most movies can be believed.  Well, that and the news.  Same thing really, in America.

I worry some mysterious authority figure is going to figure out I have no idea how to be a parent and put me in Azkaban or something.  My son yells, "I don't want to clean my room!"  and I say "Me neither!  But I have to or I can't find my crap!  So do it anyway!"  He so doesn't though.  Little bastard.  I hate fighting with him, and I think Ive run out of way to get him to do things.  Bribes don't work, everything else hasn't either.  Maybe I should start kenneling him, works for dogs, right?  Nah, kenneling is mean I guess.  To the dogs, ha!  Oh, speaking of dogs, I found some super cute ones!

This is Oliver, a Great Pyranees 

Gregory is super cute too! Check out his video above!

Oh Andi, I want you to be my puppy!

I can't help it, every time I see a stray I just want to take them home and love them forever.

So, Ive been on the lookout for a new place.  Nothing fancy, just a trailer with 2 bedroom.  Cross your fingers!