July 24, 2012

My Brain is Bleeding

Out of work for 5 weeks sick.  First a kidney infection, then a lymph node infection, next a lower abdominal infection, now the bacteria that causes ulcers. I'm starting to think I should be dead.  I've been doing laundry for weeks and staring at these walls, driving me psycho. 

Roommate is moving.  Tyrone, James' best friend, is getting his own place.  Never again will I have to look at his brother Anton.  I haven't spoken of Anton before, mostly because he bugs me so much I want to punch myself in the face.  One of those people that states opinion as fact, and is unable to use or recognize logic.  Now, since everyone else in the house hates him, he won't be gracing us with his presence again hopefully.  Yay!  I rejoice in the sight of anyone, just some I enjoy the sight of them being pummeled more than anything.  Ugh, now he's in my house.  Apparently, he's been sitting in his car for awhile in front of my house, waiting for Tyrone to get home.  That isn't creepy at all.  So I'm in my bedroom, waiting for him to leave.  I just can't handle him being in my face anymore.  It may be childish to hide, but if he locks me out of my house and stands on the other side of the door laughing, I may be forced to skewer him on something.  Something sharp and pointy perhaps.  It drives me up the wall when someone is in their 20s and is less well behaved than my 5yr old.

I think I'm afraid of my job sometimes.  I know that 50+ hours a week is not unusual, but man it is going to be rough going back.  I'm tired just thinking about it.  I could stay in my comfort level, keep a small job like waitressing and spend most of my time at home on projects, and raising my son.  I've done that for more years than I care to think about, with nothing to show for it really.  I did get to spend a lot of time with my son which is wonderful, but I can't afford to replace his shoes.  I suppose there are tradeoffs in everything.