April 30, 2012

Adventure Into Nightlife Or I Am Too Old For This Crap

I was invited out by Marsha, a friend from a former job.  We had never gone out together, so we picked a dance bar and our rides for the night, and went for it.  One broken pair of glasses and a hungover me was the damage.  I'm lucky I survived at all. 

Today I applied for a job I actually want.  I'm so excited I kind of want to pee myself.  Now it's the blind date stage, they look me over and decide if they want to pay me to hang out with them.  Hey, a free meal is a form of payment.  Gods, I hope they like me. 

I hate arguing with my significant other.  Seriously hate it.  I will argue with someone over anything from politics to why the world would be better if the sky was purple all the time, but I hate arguing about life or emotions.  I can't stay detached about my own life, and when I have to acknowledge that I actually have feelings then things get really ugly.  Stupid emotions. 

I heard an argument today involving yet another war our country is involved in, "The Mommy Wars".  I saw a clip of Jenny Lawson from thebloggess.com (my personal hero) on CNN talking about working moms vs stay at home moms.  This is the most ridiculous argument in the world.  Many women are stay at home moms, and they do the same thing a live in housekeeper/nanny/laundress/chef/personal assistant would do, except the kids are generally hers and she doesn't get an actual paycheck.  Many women choose to work, and if they make enough money, can outsource some of these jobs.  Still more women have to work for many reasons, most of them money related.  I am a working mom because I am a single mom, I don't have that all important.  I would love to be a stay at home mom, but I also like living indoors.  Landlords get so pissy when you can't pay rent.  Why don't we all unite as people with children that want the best for them?  Hell, we can even let the dads in on it! 

April 29, 2012


So I randomly found this restaurant in Zanzibar, called The Rock.  It looks like a shack in the middle of the Indian Ocean.  As it turns out, that is exactly what it is.  I want to go there.  I am currently searching flights to see how much i need to save up.  It looks like about $1,800.  I wonder if I would take anyone with me.  Well Oleander, of course if I can get her to leave her house.  She hates people, and has Social Anxiety.  I think sometimes thats why she keeps me around, I talk to anybody and everybody.  Well I have gotten a little pickier after some creepy stalking incidents, but still, I could make best friends with a rock.  I want to go somewhere with clear beautiful waters and no snow.  I love the snow, but where I live I get to see it and ice for about 10 months out of the year.  How does one travel internationally with no money?  Maybe I could find somewhere a little closer.  Ecuador sounds awesome too.  At least going to the Galapagoes Islands does.  I want to see the massive flowers and weird animals.  Like a marine iguana.  They swim in the ocean, and do their lizardy thing.  That is what I want, to sit on a rock and swim in the ocean and do my lizardy thing.  I find myself drowning in America.  I tried going to school, and for several reasons it didn't work out.  Therefore, it will be hard for me to make enough money to keep my son and I alive without government help, much less get to take him or myself anywhere.  I have been working for 11 years and at this point I have nothing to show for it.  I'm almost 30 and still working for minimum wage, possibly because I'm scared to go for anything better.  Terrified that if I try to better my life all I will do is fail.  I am so tired of failing.  I know that Abraham Lincoln lost 8 elections, failed businesses, and suffered numerous personal tradgedies before becoming one of the most memorable presidents in history.  I keep thinking, I should work harder.  I should do better.  I have to be better.  But better than what?  Better than myself, of course.  I failed at family, Louis' biological dad texts  me every once in a while to remember that.  I of course will never recieve child support, the state determined it was not worth their time.  Trying to keep your head above water at minimum wage is a losing proposition if you have a child.  I'm very blessed that my mom is willing to watch him for free, because working full time my paycheck is less than daycare for him.  I have cheap rent because I have roomates, but rent, plus food, plus gas for my car (no public transport is not available) I start out in the red. Perhaps I can find balance with a career, I can only hope.


So I found this story on helicopter parents, and how they ruin the world.  The Week covered why some egg hunts for kids were cancelled, apparently the parents couldn't let the kids have fun, they had to jump the ropes and get in the middle of it before even all of the kids were on the field.  People are obsessed with making sure their children never lose at anything and are willing to become psychos to ensure it.  God knows that children these days may become eternally scarred if they don't win at everything.  It sickens me.  Your kids need to fail, and have you teach them how to deal with it, or what will they do when they grow up and aren't equipped to deal with failure and  rejection?  Parenting is not about treating your child like an egg you have to coddle so it won't break.  Being a parent is about teaching your children about life.

And switching to a totally different topic, Cartagena!  There is a scandal (isn't there always) currently involving the White House and prostitution.  Apparently, a couple of Secret Service members were involved, as was non-payment of services rendered. Hey, you ordered the pizza, pay for it before you eat it, douche.

April 22, 2012

My Feet Hurt and My Hair isCurly

After a minor procedure, I am off the painkillers and remembered that my computer does something other than go to Neopets and play games.  It has Pintrest!  And the NewNowNext Awards.  So, officially, Willam was kicked off of RuPaul's Drag Race for being pregnant.  Whore.  Shoutout to Oleander for guessing it!  That bitch is always right, and she knows it.

I have missed my friends, and the outside world.  Sometimes its just so hard to actually go outside.  I love being outside, but lately i feel so chained to the house.  And tired.  God I have been so tired.  I keep wanting to do so much, and... nothing.  Not that I currently have enough money to do anything.  Bah.  Being poor blows.  I heard today that a two income family makes 15% less money than a one income family did 40 years ago.

A thought occurred to me today.  I wonder if some people have children because they're lonely.  That is a crappy cure, just so everyone knows.  Sometimes when I was a single mom and living alone (with Louis) sometimes I would get so lonely I would cry.  Don't tell anyone I have emotions, it would totally ruin my reputation.

I found this bit of hilarity on Stumble.  Historical Facebook Updates

 The first nice day this year that I actually felt like going outside, and we all played in the sprinkler.  I got a sunburn, and James accidentally dropped Louis on his side.  Yay!

April 21, 2012


I wonder if this is real...  This necklace says it it made with real coal from the Titanic.  Yes, the boat at the bottom of the ocean.  I'm not so sure.

I want this!  A coffee cup with an octopus inside is just too awesome.

So I went to the hospital Sunday night, vomiting like I was going to die.   Turns out I have a rather nasty version of the stomach flu, and it was not Ebola like I thought.  So here I sit, feverish, chills, sweats, and turning my stomach inside out every few minutes or so, and wishing I felt well enough to go to work tonight.  Thank the Goddess Louis is 5, and fairly self-sufficient.  I am so glad I never got this sick when he was really little.  Maybe I did, but it wasn't for more than 24 hours.  Maybe, like most horrible things about pregnancy, I just forgot.  I was going back through the notebook I had when I was pregnant with Louis, and it sounded awful.  I was constantly peeing myself, and puking.  Also, I felt like crap and slept all the time.  I never left the house and I hurt.  Gods, just reading it makes me want to go get my tubes tied.  I'll pull a Madonna if I want another kid and buy one.   Not really, I'll foster.  There are plenty of kids in this world that don't have anyone to love them.  The best part is, I don't have to spend a year wanting to die, and I can even get a kid thats already potty trained!  I semi-adopted a girl named Rosie a few years ago.  She's a sweet girl with lacking parental figures until later in life, as it were.  She's a good kid, and I hope she knows she can call on me if she ever needs help.

April 10, 2012

Shopping and other full contact sports

I found the coolest pets!  Visit PetFinder to find your new best friend today!

Mosey, the Domestic Short Hair
Brody, A Catahoula Leopard Dog.

The Ray Finkle Football Camp shirt!  Laces Out Dan Marino!

I used to play Grass: The Card Game when I was in high school, and it was awesome.  We played fast to work on our basic math skills.  Loved it!

For the person who really has everything - The Car Mustache!  No wonder the rest of the world thinks we're all fat millionaires.  We have crap like this when they have no food.

I can't have dogs where I live currently, but when I can, I want one or 6 or whatever.  Joking!  I want 2.  I found this awesome dog breed selector.
I am apparently supposed to have a Standard Poodle or a miniature 

I love to shop for free things, so I've been perusing the podcast selection on ITunes.  I updated my personal favorites, BBC World News and A Prairie Home Companion.  I found one called Throwing Shade, and I am loving it. 

April 4, 2012

Stalkers, Pie, and Sarah Palin sucks

Interesting article I found randomly.  People should be aware of what they have out in the open on social networking sites.  I personally am a bit anal about it, since I spent time being hunted by a psycho (or I think I was, but regardless he didn't find me) and so even my "town I live in" is false and changes according to where I want to live that week.  Just remember, if you act like they're out to get you, you won't have to change anything if they are.  If they aren't, you're safe anyway so score for you!

Speaking of social networking, some politicians have opened their pages "to the constituents".  Lovely.  I have taken it upon myself to inform the people in office how I feel about them.  Like today I wrote on Sarah Palin's wall "Please take your outdated ideals and unrealistic family "morals" and go back to whatever level of hell you came from.  I want my rights, and stop judging my uterus, you are making it angry.  Just stop it.  You are clearly incapable of making intelligent decisions about reproduction for yourself and your family. Stop trying to fuck up my family.  No!  Bad Monkey!  I don't usually bring someones' family into an argument, but when you shoot out a kid that was 95% likely to have problems since you should have stopped shooting them outta your antique poon, and became a grandma since your "pure" 17 yr old couldn't keep it in her lovely christian pants until graduation, you are the last person I want making decisions about reproduction in any way shape or form ever.  Now put up a closed sign on your cooter and tell your daughter what a goddamn condom is before she breeds 30 mouth-breathers just like you and the fucking octomom.  God she sucks.  Well, the octomom too but everyone knows that.  Seriously, I can't tell the difference between when she is actually talking and when Tina Fey is making fun of her.

*Addition*  I want to be very clear here.  I support handicapped people and a woman's right to choose whatever she wants for her family.  I love handicapped people, they're the only ones who understand my love for my little pony and don't make fun of me for it.  I have a serious problem with someone that has a baby with any issue and parades that child around like a circus monkey to get votes.  Then says shes running on family and Christian values while busily pimping her kids for votes and the spotlight.  There is a reason why her book on parenting was cancelled.

Speaking of stupid politicians, Rick Santorum.  He says random fucked up things people thinks are true, and when he is called on blatant lies, his main spin doctor says he was "speaking from the heart."  He apparently said this "Because they have voluntary euthanasia in the Netherlands, but half the people who are euthanized every year — and it’s 10 percent of all deaths for the Netherlands — half of those people are euthanized involuntarily, at hospitals, because they are older and sick. And so elderly people in the Netherlands don’t go to the hospital, they go to another country, because they’re afraid because of budget purposes that they will not come out of that hospital if they go into it with sickness."

I must confess, I absolutely love The Rachel Maddow Show. I would love her in the White House.  Hell, put her and Suze Orman together in charge of this country and we would have a surplus with a happy, educated population in no time.  Because everything would have to be based in logic.  "Isn't our government based in logic?"  I hear you ask.  The next thing you would hear though would be my 5 fingers meeting your face.

And onward, to the anniversary of the Titanic.  Oooooh, bitch!  The first time I saw that movie, and that decadence in every detail of that ship, I thought the same thing every other little drag princess in the audience did.  "Ooooh, girl!  I am going to live there.  I don't give a shit if it's on the bottom of the ocean, that is too sparkly to not be mine."  I feel the same way about the crown jewels in London, baby. They will be mine someday too.  Anyway, the National Geographic released new pictures of the greatest ship/maritime disaster of all time.  At least in my opinion.  Ok, in my opinion today.

New fun toy I found here. Find out where you are.

I wish I knew who made this, I would shake their genius-ass hand, and congratulate them on being hilarious.

April 3, 2012

Death by lack of stomach bile

So I've been puking for a week.  And I spilled a bowl of soup on my computer.  And I'm not happy about either.  Stupid sick.  Stupid gravity.  Annoying.  Also, I have been working on my other blog some but ive mostly just been dying.  Ive missed you! 

Also, I finally got to the doctor.  I have severe exzema, and not zombieism.  It was a bit of a letdown, but the gave me steroids and told me to oil myself up, so I've been yelling "Are you ready for WrestleMania?!?"  and running around my house, because I feel like a pro wrestler.  "Can you smell, what the Rock is cookin'?" (It was steak.  Yum steak.)

Why do people not keep track of their pets anymore?  I saw 3 different dogs in my yard today, and I don't have any pets.  Besides the fish I make up elaborate dramas about, but they don't judge you so don't judge them.  Or the fact their names change weekly.  I digress.  I've seen one of these dogs before, its a rat terrier bastard that has brought trash all  over my yard and did the same to my next door neighbor today.  Bastard asshole dog.  He had a collar and was clearly well fed.  Whoever owns him is just lucky the bull mastiff on the other side of me didn't see it, or he would have suddenly been a squeaky toy.  If you aren't intelligent enough to keep your animal contained you are not smart enough to own it.  I can understand once or twice, but I work nights.  If I notice your animal out and about all the goddamn time when I don't even wake up until 2pm most days there is a fucking problem here people. 

OooooH!  I found an Internet meme that is not totally and completely retarded.  Ok, sorry, I don't get the facebook guy with all the lines.  Or, pretty much any of the other ones.  The perception one is cool though.  See what I'm yammering about here. 

And what the hell is wrong with Netflix?  I was trying to watch the roast of Charlie Sheen earlier (he always makes me feel better about my self and choices) and it was running slow, and skipping, and was all fuckered up.  If I wanted shitty quality skipping, I would have taken it off Limewire and saved myself the fucking membership fee.  Bastardasses.