Announcement! And Grilled Cheese

This isn't a real post.  Well it kindof is.  I have about 5 blogs I've been working on over the years, and now I've decided to consolidate them.  I caught myself in the middle of launching a news site, and it occurs to me that I've written about that on here.  So you're getting all of the crazy in one place now!  Yay!  So now everything from recipes and crochet to animal rights and caring for your pets is all here.  For starters, lets go to a grilled cheese sandwich.

The Perfect Grilled Cheese Sandwich

This dish gets a difficulty level of 1/10 

Start with:

2 slices of bread

enough cheese to cover one of the bread slices

pat of butter or margarine

Take a small skillet. Throw half of the butter in, and put one of the burners on medium low. Cover one of the bread slices with cheese, topping with the other piece of bread. Set in skillet, lift with spatula after 30 seconds. Next, throw the rest of the butter in waiting until melted. Then put the sandwich back in, unbuttered side down. Keep flipping every 30 seconds to a minute until golden brown or however you like it. Easy, right? This is one of those things that everyone has their own special recipe for. Traditionally this culinary classic is paired with a soup of some kind. Grilled cheddar with tomato soup is one of the most popular comfort foods in the USA.

Budget Version – Use white bread and American cheese slices.  Canned (like Campbell's) tomato soup goes great!  You can also slice the sandwich in strips to use as a dunker for your soup.   Mmmmmmm.

Fancy Pants Version - My son likes his with either American cheese slices and pickles, or Cheddar and ham. My personal fave is french bread with brie cheese. Sometimes I put a little jelly inside too.  My sandwich goes best with a cream of tomato and mushroom soup.  (I'll show you how to make that later.)

This is one of the first recipes I mastered.  When you're just starting to figure out what that room with the sink and fridge is for, mastering anything involving the stove is a minor miracle and very rewarding.  Melted cheese is always delicious, and this can be a lifesaver on a rainy, snowy, or just crappy day.  Make sure to watch your sandwich, as golden brown turns to black veeeery quickly. 

Death becomes her

It's been a bit of an odd year.  I like to think I have few enemies.  Sure, some people don't like what I have to say and I can really rub people the wrong way.  Not everyone gets my sick, twisted sense of humor.  In the last yearish, I've had 2 major enemies die.  Its weird.  About a year ago, a girl that was mean to me from the day I met her in the fifth grade took her own life.  Granted, I haven't seen her in almost 10 years, but it left me with a weird feeling.  She had a young child, so I feel for that kid, but...  I can't say I'm not happy I'll never see her again.  Now, a chick that my son's sperm donor was living with while he was sniffing around my ass died in a car wreck.  Situation Clarification - He was living with her, sleeping with me, engaged to another chick, and sleeping with yet another.  I found out, called, lets call her Felicia - the now deceased female he was living with (moron called me from her phone) and told Felicia all about it, and sent her picture proof.  She screams at me and said that I was lying to break them up, and forced Douche-canoe to sleep with me in order for him to see his son.  I replied that he wasn't worth it in bed, as she and I both knew.  Also he had exposed her to an STD, if she didn't believe me she should go with him to the doctor.  She got quiet and hung up on me.  A week later she called me asking about him coming to my house to watch my son while I went on a date.  I told her I didn't date, and I sure as hell wouldn't leave that piece of crap alone in my apartment.  Then she explodes on me about how he's her man, and I needed to leave him the hell alone.  I replied if she didn't want him coming to my house, to yank his leash.  She threatened to kill me next time I left my home with my son, "so he could be with his true parent".  Craaaaaazy, right?!?  This was, oh, 4 years ago?  I think.  Sounds right.  Now I look in the paper, and she's dead.  Car accident.  Its a weird feeling, knowing this person is gone and will never stalk/murder me.  Well, stalk me again.  Then I started dating a guy, and he was her ex-husband and baby daddy.  I thought the crackhead would never leave me alone.  Anyway, she's dead and I feel weird about it.  I only have like 5 actual enemies.  Now two less.  It kind of blows my mind when people I know, people my age die.  But I have this huge hole where my sadness and give-a-shit should be. I feel bad for her family, I feel bad for her kids.  I keep seeing things from her friends about how life won't be the same without her and she will be so missed.  It makes me wonder if they smoked as much meth as she did.  I guess even other junkies will miss you when you're gone.  Thats rude, I shouldn't say that.  Ah, fuck it.  It's true. The sad part is, I guess she was finally clean and had a job.  She probably could have at least made a life for her kids, not that they were a priority.  Wyoming is what's called a woman's state, it takes almost an act of congress for kids to be separated from their mother.  She lost custody of 2 different kids to 2 different dads.  Of course I can sit on my high horse, using what I know of her sad and short life, to justify my looking down on her.  She was a person.  All people make mistakes and do stupid shit.  I never have done meth, and it can make it so a person can throw their life away without thinking twice.  Choices, choices, choices.  Life is all about choices.  I don't know.  This whole thing has left a bad taste in my mouth.  She and I were never friends, but now they'll never be any kind of anything.  I was best friends with her brother for years.  He unfortunately hated me after my ex beat and abused me.  I dumped him and filed for child support so I of course ruined my ex's life.  I hope they both choke.  But I digress.  Her funeral started 10 minutes ago, and here I am at home, feeling weird about my emotions or lack thereof. 

Seasons Mermaids

What is it about this season that is so make or break for some people?  I know of a few friends that have broken up 2 of which were over 5 years together.  Another few have gotten engaged.  Its almost like snuggling under the covers gives you an up close and personal look at whomever you climbed in there with.  I, for the first time am in a relationship that I love climbing under the covers with.  Blech, yuck I know.  In every relationship previous, however, I've had that defining moment when your partner's eyes are and inch from yours, and you look deeply into their eyes and think "What the hell am I doing here?  I could be literally anywhere else and perhaps never have to look at you again.  Strangely I'm fine with that."  I usually move out within the hour.  I won't call someone at work, and I have learned to not use the phrase, "We need to talk."  Mostly because it isn't true, we don't need to talk.  I need to tell them that I am neutral about the idea of them getting eaten by a shark.  Past reactions to various breakups are sometimes hilarious, like the time I sang this song:



The guy tried to walk away from me, and I followed him until I finished.  He called me a major bitch.  I have no idea why.  I broke a friends with benefits relationship off with a guy once, and he showed up at my door at 8am (I worked graveyards) pounding on my door screaming about how he loves me and can't live without me.  If this ever sounds like a great idea to get your ex back, just don't.  I still remember how pissed off I was.  He pounded on my window, screaming "Cody!  Cody I don't care if you don't want to be with me!  I love you and we are meant to be together!!!  CODY!!!!"  I kind of opened one eye and took a second to asses the possibilities.  I figured it could only be something like zombies/apocalypse/hurricane/killer bees.  When I realized it was some jack-hole screaming about his feelings that disturbed my precious beauty sleep the dumb sonofabitch is lucky I didn't stick an axe in his head.  I'm not a morning person at the best of times, and this was hardly the best of times.  Who thinks that is romantic?  Pulling a John Cusack from Say Anything, that's romantic.  Or this:




That's super romantic.  Who could say no to that?  I sure as hell wouldn't.  When you think about relationships when you're a lonely single, it gets romanticized.  You see videos like this, and it can drive you right to the ice cream and, if you're me, bloody thrillers.  When I'm depressed/crabby I like to see murders, so sue me.  I start thinking about getting married, loving home with lots of kids and dogs, and then I remember its like this: 



There's a reality check for ya. 

On another note have you seen these videos about Mermaids?  Animal Planet has a new show called Mermaids. 




It blew my mind!  Now granted, this could all be faked, but Animal Planet isn't known for that.  Have you ever seen River Monsters?  Those animals are all real, like the 400lb stingray that, if I remember correctly, eats small children.  Or doesn't.  It did have a stinger that was like a foot long, it looked like a huge bayonet.   
Check it out!

Galumph - Poetry Night

November is a time to be thankful, so here's something I'm thankful for.

He is always there, including and especially when I'm peeing.
He's my best guy,
Moose.
He never lets me forget he loves me,
when I want to be alone,
80 lbs in my lap,
wet face full of slobber kisses.

I have a disability but I have to have light exercise or I get sick,
puking dying sick,
I hate walking.
Must walk the puppy or the puppy eats things,
galloping galumphing frolicky goodness,
flopping ears of an un-graceful gazelle,
I can't help laughing through the pain

Free because nobody wanted him,
Labelled as crazy,
uncontrollable,
psychotic,
his name was Nuts.  Not even kidding.
Well, I've heard all of that about me too.

How can I pay for the best dog in the world?
How can you buy a child a best friend?
How can you buy a boyfriend a lapmonkey?
We thought he was temporary,
We thought we were saving him,

Our lives are complete thanks to Moosey Wolfson Cline

Good Dog.

He is not responding

"He isn't responding to our behavioral plan."
"Did you try making it actually positive reinforcement based, rather than punishing him randomly and saying its positive reinforcement?"
... Cricket noise.

Back to the school saga with Tristyn. We finally were able to switch schools after the principal decided to suspend my son for a week every time he was involved in any kind of an incident.  I hope she burns in hell of face-herpes.  Anyhoo, the new school was a source of hope.  At the suggestion of the school counsler we started testing for all kinds of things.  Weeks of testing over the summer paid off, we now had most of a diagnosis (it was added to) of SPD, ADHD,and a couple of other related things, including mild autism.  Now we had somewhere to go from here!  I was put in touch with our district's parent resource center, and Ms. Mueller who is a complete dream to work with.  She's very up-front and no bullshit, which I really appreciate.  I'm freaking out, not knowing what to do or what the hell is going on.  I kept thinking that I was going to have to home-school Tristyn but then he would get almost no social interaction.  Great.  Then he would have no social skills and god knows that will just get worse.  I don't want that for him, social interaction is what human societies are based on, so he would miss out on one of the basics of the human experiance.  I worry waaaaayyyyyy too much.  There was a lot of me falling apart, and my little man wondering why he was always being treated differently than the other kids.  He wasn't allowed to play with other kids at recess, he always had an adult right next to him.  He was only going to school for half days, when all of his peers had been doing full days for over a year.  It was mind-numbing and crazy.  It drove me completely crazy.  Suddenly, my madre appeared at my door.  Ok, that isn't that strange, we have a close relationship.  Not creepy close but I talk to her once a day usually.  The amazing thing was what she had in her hand.  This book!  Go check it out, I'll wait.  That book seriously saved my ass.  I asked for an IEP (individualized education plan) and got one!  Tristyn was evaluated, and it was deemed that he really did need special services.  Imagine that. 

To be continued...

Scary Words

There is a heart stopping moment when someone with the title of Doctor says to you, "severe deficiency" in reference to your child.  Tristyn has had issues in school, ever since preschool.  It's always been obvious that he was, what I like to call, quirks.  It really never occurred to me it was more than that.  "He's a weird kid.  I was a weird kid, his bio dad was a weird kid, eh.  He'll be fine."  As he grew and developed, it became more than quirks.  His quirks had quirks.  When he was 2, Tristyn would run from one end of my 1,200 sq ft apartment to the other, bouncing off the wall and laughing.  His tantrums weren't louder or longer than any other kid I knew (which is like 3) but they would come with the slightest provocation.  He's always been a bright child, memorizing dinosaur names and statistics like he was taking a college exam.  He started educating the volunteers at the Tate Geological Museum, our local dinosaur mecca when he was 4 years old.  We had problems with his kindergarten year.  His teacher and the resource teacher, along with other staff didn't know what to do with him.  They were just baffled.  As was I.  He wasn't violent at home.  When he felt that he or one of his friends was threatened, he immediately reacted, harshly.  I remember an incident when he first started kindergarten, 5 yrs old, and I got a phone call.  Tristyn had seen a 5th grader (10-11 yr old) picking on a kid in his class, so he ran across the playground and double kicked the 5th grader in the head.  Good theory, bad practice. Or at least that's what I figured, until it kept happening.  Sometimes it was a kid getting close to him in class when he was at his desk.  He was isolated to a desk when the other children sat together at tables.  He would constantly wander away from his desk to be with the other kids.  His teacher didn't understand why.  He had constant trouble focusing, and would get reaaaallllllly off topic when he was trying to avoid doing something.  Or, you know, lock himself in the bathroom.  The principal was constantly calling me, asking me to keep him home for the day or to come and pick him up because they couldn't handle him.  They told me to spank him, take away all of his toys and earn them back, points systems, and none of it worked.  Seriously, not any kind of a change other than my sweet child was under huge stress and crying constantly because he said he was broken.  His brain was broken and it made him do things and he was so sorry mom.  I got to hear all of this through my sobbing baby's tears.  I hated having to physically drag him out from under his bed screaming and crying that he didn't want to go back, because he was just going to get in trouble.  He was usually right.  He was always hungry, and even got in trouble for stealing food.  I was almost investigated for not feeding him.  I did, and he eats like a hummingbird.  Constantly.  He is incredibly impulsive and has no filter.  The reason the school had such great records of his incidents is, Tristyn wouldn't lie about it. 
"Why is Jimmy crying, Tristyn?"
"I punched him in the face."
Well, the teachers were baffled.  When asked why, sometimes all he could come up with was "My brain made me do it."  What?  What does that even mean?  We had one behavioral interventionist come to a meeting, and then we had another meeting.  And another meeting.  It seemed like we had the regulars (principal, teacher, resource room teacher) and then a rotating group of so-called professionals.  I think I cried at almost every one of those meetings, sometimes in the parking lot.  Counselors, psychiatrists, administrators, and god only knows what else.  Nothing was working, until we got a new behavioral interventionist that actually cared, and a counselor that noticed things I never saw. 

I'm breaking this installment off here.  If any of this sounds familiar about your child, I urge you to talk to your school counselor about testing for ADD, ADHD, SPD, and autism.

Breeding is not for everyone

Breeding.  Having cute little puppies in your home, and when they're a bit older, they go to loving homes.  Sounds fun and easy right?  And at $400-$1,000+ an easy way to make money, right?  Not even close.  Proper breeders do not make money off of their animals.  There are many ways to figure out if you have a proper breeder.  First, they only breed one, MAYBE two breeds of dog.  Any more, and you are probably dealing with a puppy mill.  Good breeders focus on their dogs, making sure that not only are they conforming to the AKC standards, but improving the breed.  Temperament, attitude, and drive (according to breed) are also very important qualities but not always seen by the judges.  However, you will know since this dog will be a member of your family.  If you're looking for a cash cow to use as breeding stock and not wanting to put time into your animals, breed cows.  Fish.  Anything other than dogs.  Good breeding dogs are happy, well mannered, and loved dogs.  Getting good, pedigreed dogs is just step one.  Next, you have to raise them until they are old enough to be bred safely, usually 2 years old.  Before you breed, the dogs have to have health checks, including blood work and certifications to prove their eyes/hips/everything else is the best, and puppies are likely to be healthy.  All of this work has to happen before you even breed your first bitch.  See what I mean about work?  Now think about what breed you want to do.  Now go to Petfinder and see all of the dogs of that breed that are in shelters.  Think about this, a very high amount of those animals will never make it out of there.  In the USA alone, there are around 10,000 dogs put down every day.  EVERY DAY.  Did you see all of the purebred dogs?  Go back and check, I'll wait.  Scary right?  No one wants the cute bundle of love they spent so much time making sure was the perfect pet to be cast aside into a shelter, or much worse thrown into a cage and murdered.  Guess what?  Every one of those dogs represents at least one litter of puppies that were not well thought out, bought by people that were not ready to be a good dog parent.  Yes, sometimes there are unavoidable situations that can land a dog in a shelter, like the owner dying.  Most of the time, dogs are turned into a shelter for the owner's convenience.  A new baby, moving, and not having as much time are the most common reasons for surrender.  Am I the only one, or do these seem like the lamest excuses in the world?  Anyway, I digress.  Unless you are willing to work for it, lose money at it, and face perhaps having to keep puppies or take them back if the buyers can't keep them, don't be a breeder.  Please, don't make more babies to fill the shelters.  Every dog in there was someone's puppy, probably from very nice parents.  Yet they're dying from the inside out by living in a cage, abandoned by the ones they loved.  Instead, why not adopt a puppy from a shelter?  They have them all of the time.  Look here, over 20,000 puppies available.  If you want a particular breed, there are many breed specific rescues that can help you find your ideal friend.  Good luck!  If after this long rant you are still interested in breeding, find a good breeder in your area to help you get started.  Also, the AKC is always a good place to start.  Look at their breeder of merit program.  *end rant*