December 13, 2013

Death becomes her

It's been a bit of an odd year.  I like to think I have few enemies.  Sure, some people don't like what I have to say and I can really rub people the wrong way.  Not everyone gets my sick, twisted sense of humor.  In the last yearish, I've had 2 major enemies die.  Its weird.  About a year ago, a girl that was mean to me from the day I met her in the fifth grade took her own life.  Granted, I haven't seen her in almost 10 years, but it left me with a weird feeling.  She had a young child, so I feel for that kid, but...  I can't say I'm not happy I'll never see her again.  Now, a chick that my son's sperm donor was living with while he was sniffing around my ass died in a car wreck.  Situation Clarification - He was living with her, sleeping with me, engaged to another chick, and sleeping with yet another.  I found out, called, lets call her Felicia - the now deceased female he was living with (moron called me from her phone) and told Felicia all about it, and sent her picture proof.  She screams at me and said that I was lying to break them up, and forced Douche-canoe to sleep with me in order for him to see his son.  I replied that he wasn't worth it in bed, as she and I both knew.  Also he had exposed her to an STD, if she didn't believe me she should go with him to the doctor.  She got quiet and hung up on me.  A week later she called me asking about him coming to my house to watch my son while I went on a date.  I told her I didn't date, and I sure as hell wouldn't leave that piece of crap alone in my apartment.  Then she explodes on me about how he's her man, and I needed to leave him the hell alone.  I replied if she didn't want him coming to my house, to yank his leash.  She threatened to kill me next time I left my home with my son, "so he could be with his true parent".  Craaaaaazy, right?!?  This was, oh, 4 years ago?  I think.  Sounds right.  Now I look in the paper, and she's dead.  Car accident.  Its a weird feeling, knowing this person is gone and will never stalk/murder me.  Well, stalk me again.  Then I started dating a guy, and he was her ex-husband and baby daddy.  I thought the crackhead would never leave me alone.  Anyway, she's dead and I feel weird about it.  I only have like 5 actual enemies.  Now two less.  It kind of blows my mind when people I know, people my age die.  But I have this huge hole where my sadness and give-a-shit should be. I feel bad for her family, I feel bad for her kids.  I keep seeing things from her friends about how life won't be the same without her and she will be so missed.  It makes me wonder if they smoked as much meth as she did.  I guess even other junkies will miss you when you're gone.  Thats rude, I shouldn't say that.  Ah, fuck it.  It's true. The sad part is, I guess she was finally clean and had a job.  She probably could have at least made a life for her kids, not that they were a priority.  Wyoming is what's called a woman's state, it takes almost an act of congress for kids to be separated from their mother.  She lost custody of 2 different kids to 2 different dads.  Of course I can sit on my high horse, using what I know of her sad and short life, to justify my looking down on her.  She was a person.  All people make mistakes and do stupid shit.  I never have done meth, and it can make it so a person can throw their life away without thinking twice.  Choices, choices, choices.  Life is all about choices.  I don't know.  This whole thing has left a bad taste in my mouth.  She and I were never friends, but now they'll never be any kind of anything.  I was best friends with her brother for years.  He unfortunately hated me after my ex beat and abused me.  I dumped him and filed for child support so I of course ruined my ex's life.  I hope they both choke.  But I digress.  Her funeral started 10 minutes ago, and here I am at home, feeling weird about my emotions or lack thereof.