Focus

Finally I'm back.  Focus on the real world really brings me down.  I went back to work last month, I'm a waitress at a pancake house.  Good hours, easy work, and I pull down about $20/ hr.  Sweet.  Trying to get regulated on an actual schedule is a lot more difficult than I thought.  Its been over a year since I had to show up somewhere and do really anything not my-kid related and frankly the idea of it scared me.  What if I couldn't handle it?  What if I got super sick at work and couldn't go back?  What if I sent myself back to the hospital and did permanent damage?  What if?  What if?  It turned out to be fine.  I enjoy it, like my co-workers and really like my bosses.  It turns out I'm really good at this, and making more money than I have at any other job.  Consistent money, anyhoo.  I feel like I'm starting to come together in my head.  I had to get the job because we were behind on bills, but I'm glad I did.  Its been nice to be able to afford my son'd favorite restaurant, Taco Johns.  I can afford real luxuries, like dryer sheets.  Soon we will be caught up on the bills and be able to save up for an It-Was-Unforseen fund.  Hell we could blow $100 on a weekend trip to go soak my butt in my favorite place, hot springs. in