Am I too old already? Maybe I'm over it, can't be bothered already at *almost* 30. I kept seeing THOT on the internets, so of course I had to look it up. Did you know that means That Hoe Over There? How very degrading. Attractive women are now sideline furniture. Cute. That table over there sounds about the same to me. I see a lot on the assorted media available about how feminism is over, and its not needed. Everything is status quo, there's no such thing as a Rape Culture. Go back to your televisions. It concerns me deeply when I'm talking to a veteran teacher about a student's bullying problem, and they don't know him by name but by dress, and say "Well if he dresses that way then I'm not surprised he's a target." WHAT?!? In what universe is victim blaming ok? He's a boy in high school that wears makeup and sparkly pants. He's a nice kid, but he can't go to school without threats of physical harm. Why? Because of the way he presents himself. It physically sickens me. "She was dressed like a slut, no wonder she was raped." "He's a fag, no wonder he got his ass kicked." I guess I don't get it. Isn't there supposed to be more tolerance now? Aren't people supposed to be more aware of bullying, and the consequences? From suicide to Columbine, there are a lot of them. How long does it take to climb out from oppression? Wait, never mind.
October 23, 2014
Thoughts on THOTs
Am I too old already? Maybe I'm over it, can't be bothered already at *almost* 30. I kept seeing THOT on the internets, so of course I had to look it up. Did you know that means That Hoe Over There? How very degrading. Attractive women are now sideline furniture. Cute. That table over there sounds about the same to me. I see a lot on the assorted media available about how feminism is over, and its not needed. Everything is status quo, there's no such thing as a Rape Culture. Go back to your televisions. It concerns me deeply when I'm talking to a veteran teacher about a student's bullying problem, and they don't know him by name but by dress, and say "Well if he dresses that way then I'm not surprised he's a target." WHAT?!? In what universe is victim blaming ok? He's a boy in high school that wears makeup and sparkly pants. He's a nice kid, but he can't go to school without threats of physical harm. Why? Because of the way he presents himself. It physically sickens me. "She was dressed like a slut, no wonder she was raped." "He's a fag, no wonder he got his ass kicked." I guess I don't get it. Isn't there supposed to be more tolerance now? Aren't people supposed to be more aware of bullying, and the consequences? From suicide to Columbine, there are a lot of them. How long does it take to climb out from oppression? Wait, never mind.
September 26, 2014
Strategies
I'm horrible at strategy games. Ridiculous amounts of horrible. My cousins all wanted to play chinese checkers with me when we were kids because I always lost. A few years ago, a person I was dating tried to teach me chess. I will play games like that for the fun of it, but I go in knowing I'm going to lose. By teach, I mean call me names and make fun of me the entire time and refuse to be useful. So he captures most of my pieces, and laughs at me until I told him I could win in one move.
Jerkface - "There's no way."
Me - "No, seriously. In one move."
Jerkface - "How? I don't believe you."
I upended the board, scattering pieces everywhere while yelling, "Sheblam bitch I win!"
Jerkface - "What the f&*: Cody?!? You can't win like that!"
I sat down calmly in the ruin of gameness. " Yes, I can and did. Weren't you looking?" I replied.
Jerkface was sputtering, " But... but... that's against the rules!"
"Says who?"
"Its in the rulebook! You can't win by just throwing the board!" He was really starting to get angry now.
"Well, I have a book that says woodland creatures live in a medival abby and have adventures. Is that true too? I think you're just mad I thought of it first."
I left him red faced and sputtering.
September 6, 2014
Bucket List
Ever since the movie "The Bucket List" came out, I've been hearing people talk about theirs. A bucket list is a list of things you want to accomplish before you die. Maybe its because we are American this idea appeals to us so much. Our jobs and industries, culturally, have no real meaning anymore. We work too long at jobs we hate to buy crap we don't need. A bucket list gives us a sense of purpose, and makes us feel like we've lived life. Me personally, i love lists. So of course, I'm working on mine.
1- Quit smoking
2- Take Tristyn out of the country.
3- Publish a book, even if I'm selling it out of my car.
4- Be fluent in Spanish again.
5- Learn to speak Italian, then go to Italy.
6- Sing on a stage
7- Visit Russia
8- Ride a speedboat thru the canyons in New Zealand
9- Play with a member of the large feline family
This is what i have so far, but I need ideas. For gawd's sake, I'm going off Dr. Dorian in Scrubs. Do you remember that show? Better question- What is on your bucket list? Tell me in the comments!
September 3, 2014
Off
Off my schedule, out of my mind. Its the first week of school and now I have to get up at 6:45am, do meal planning, etc. Puke. Sometimes this stuff makes me want to run screaming into the hills.
So, I stayed way too late at my friend Kathys. Ooops. Its been nothing but stress in my house. First week of school, tension with Marcus, scheduling, forgetting to walk the dog then he trashes the house multiple times because he's a bored airedale. Also a douche-dog. Bah! Don't forget the 5,000 other things I'm worried about, like being overweight and needing new glasses. I can't sleep. My internal clock is still on summer, but the child person gets all whiny if you don't feed him. In fact, if the food isn't forthcoming, there's 2 cats, a dog, a cockatiel, & a 7 yr old all yelling at you. Every time I thought I wanted a baby (except once) I've gone out and gotten a furry one. This ends up with lots of fur everywhere, but cheaper than kids. Less work if you keep to cats.
August 30, 2014
100 Posts!
In the spirit of our 100 post milestone, I will be revamping the blog! Please let me know in the comments things you like, things you hate, etc. We are getting a serious makeover! Whooo!
And now, onto the regular content: What pisses me off today. Today, I saw a gofundme that reeeeeeeeaaaalllllyyyyy irritated me. These people have 6 Kids together, and one more they pay support on. She is a "freelance" tatoo artist (kitchen tattoo anyone?) And he works. Ish. I guess. I don't know man, but when I hung out with him in my early 20s his Grandma paid his bills. Anyway, I guess they moved into a new house and now the Mom and youngest both have medical bills, which sucks. But they can't pay for all of these things now, so they're elicting money online. Alms, alms for the poor, and you don't even have to leave your house to beg for money now. Nice, right? Now they say that they need the money for medical bills, which i get. But they go on to talk about their new house they have to pay for, and I saw some bitching they'd only raised $150 or so. Granted we have a broken healthcare system, but its fucked up to talk about how you need money for your sick baby (why in Goddess' name do you have 7?!?) and you really need money for your new house and bullshit. Ugh. I'm not going to say poor people shouldn't have kids, or nice things. Its pretty fucking stupid to have your own baseball team when you're poor though. Kids are horrifically costly, both money wise and time wise. Every time you have a child, you play roulette with a multitude of potential issues, even if you have no family history. That ups the cost significantly. I also saw them talking about how they don't qualify for assistance. With that many kids, to not qualify means they are bringing in quite a bit of money. They posted that if everyone on their friends list donated $25, they'd have $3,000+ because they really need it. Yeah, who has an extra $25? And if you do, do you give it away? Me personally, I give to charities, usually involved with animal rescue. In order to receive monetary help from any place I've ever heard of, you have to fill out applications and bring in lots of proof you're poor. Not so with gofundme. So what do you do with spare money?
August 29, 2014
Flare Town
Yes. Magic School Bus is totally what I meant.
In other news, school is starting . Any parent of a special needs child can tell you that can be a special slice of hell. Not only do we have to start in with a new schedule, but new busses, new class helpers, etc. Wheeeeee. So by the time Tristyn the boy gets used to his schedule and new people, its Christmas break.
August 8, 2014
Fruitcakes
My friend Rayne has a rainbow tail. That's right, a fricken rainbow tail. I want one! Also, I really need a pair of those kitty ears that scan your brain and move. With yer BRAIN WAVES. Scifi fans get excited, we are one step closer to fully functioning cyborg costumes that you can run over all of those assholes that talked crap on Star Wars. Ha ha bitches!
On another note, there are some weird people out there. Seriously weird people. Not just your run of the mill, People of Walmart weird, there are some seriously deranged individuals out there.
From the Why-didn't-I-think-of-that insane:
Canary Suicides, the new dust collector
I've been waiting since 1985 for this shit!
To the what-the-hell-did-I-just-see:
Bacon is officially everywhere
I am the rainbow fox!
That's your moment of zen, people.
Nervous Eater
My dog is an Airedale Terrorist I mean Terrier /Laborador Retriever. This means he absolutely has to be walked. Bare minimum for a well behaved Moose is an hour of walking once a day. Bare minimum for a Moose that doesn't eat loaves of bread and any food he can find on the counter is an hour of walkies once every 3 days. Beyond that he starts eating everything in the house including the child's toys. He can dump a trash can and strew everything in it from hell to breakfast in the time it takes me to smoke a cigarette. Whose fault is it? Mine because I didn't walk him. The 100lb puppy is not a house dog. I'm reasonably sure unless you live in a castle, no 100lb puppy is a house dog.
Speaking of dogs, a lot of the people I see rehoming them really make me want to scream. "Free to good home, German Sheppard. Got too big for the kids." How big did you think a German Sheppard is? Ugh, people.
July 29, 2014
Blargh
So we are stilll in full swing puppy season and the amount of stupid people doing stupid shit still astounds me. If you have a mutt or mongrel puppy, no one in their right mind is going to pay $500+ for it. According to the AKC, a mutt is a mix of 2 recognised breeds, and a mongrel is 3+. These guys are available at any shelter or rescue. Yes, your dogs may be cute, but that is a terrible reason to breed. What kinds of genetic issues do these dogs have? Are you mixing 2 different kinds of breeds? Whenever i see an add for mixed puppiez that says "best of both breeds" i really want to scream. These people clearly don't understand genetics. You get a grab bag of traits from both parents. Putting two names together to make it sound cute does not change the fact you're trying to make a quick buck off being too lazy to fix your dog. Blargh.
July 24, 2014
Did someone drag me behind a horse and i just forgot?
In other news, we went camping! Whooo! We've got an ADHD 7yr old, ADD 5 yr old, and a 4 yr old. Oh god what did i do? So technically this isn't a real post yet. This is a post to let you know I didn't forget about you, I just ran away from civilization. I almost didn't come back, but I ran out of underpants.
July 13, 2014
Am i?
July 9, 2014
Gypsy Cart
I woke up this morning surprised I wasn't in my gypsy cart. I keep having this dream I live in a sheepherder's wagon in the woods. Its so quiet and peaceful, I wish I was there now. Its a million fricken degrees in here, even with 3 air conditioners. I'm meeeelting, meeeeelting.
In other news, I'm going to see a new doctor soon. Wheeee. I was referred to a psychologist when I met my last new doctor, a general practitioner. Apparently its not normal or healthy to hide in your house and be so run down you can't breathe. Huh. Medication was suggested. *Sigh*
3Am
Now we are in daylight hours, but I'm so full of decongestant that I keep wondering if I'm in the movie Pan's Labyrinth. The universe keeps shifting. I keep seeing things that aren't there, things I know in my head aren't there, but I keep thinking, Am I sure? Why again are they not real? Shadows out of the corner of my eyes keep moving. I am convinced its the cat until I remember they're both outside. I'm fairly sure I'm not stuck in a horror movie because this has been going on for awhile, but one can never be too sure. Either way I'm holed up in my cave of sick just praying for daylight. In my head. Not suicide tho, just something to cut the black on my brain.
July 3, 2014
Its a fresh one
A fresh piece of hell that is. I want to will myself into feeling better. I will let you know if that ever pans out.
I've found my dream home, I'm going to build a tiny house on wheels. Now all i have to do is come up with the money for it. And figure out where to build it, and where I'm gonna park it. Also i have to figure out how I'm going to build it with no building experience whatsoever. I'm very blessed, my wonderful friend David has offered to help me and he just graduated college with a degree in building awesomeness, so I'm super excited! Architectural Engineering is what he called it but whatever. Tiny house! My mom laughed at the idea of Moose, my 100+ lb. puppy in a tiny house. According to my calculations however, less house = more yard. More yard = more frolicking space for Mr. Moo. All he does inside is lay under my feet anyway. All i need is a job now.
June 28, 2014
Tyler I Love You
What is he doing? |
BAHHH! Birdie eyeball of death! |
Paparazzi! Go away! |
Seriously? Go. Away. |
June 15, 2014
Messages from the land of forgotten thoughts
Creepy stares and bitey monsters - I'm watching a kind of old movie called Creepshow.
Wyoming Injustice - In Wyoming, it is an ugly but accepted fact that the police and courts are corrupt and do as they please. January 30, 2012 was a red letter day for justice in Casper as
Generation Z? - What shall this up and coming generation of kids be called? I remember the pepsi commercials for my mother's generation was called Generation X.
Peeing In A Cup Sucks - Several states are considering forcing citizens on public assistance to urinate in cups and test them for drugs. I know it is generally referred to as UAs or Urinalysis, but peeing into a cup while a stranger watches you is what happens. This idea seems to be gaining momentum through the conservative ranks, and it scares me. Are poor people thought of as so far below these so-called representatives that the poor aren't allowed to have basic human dignity anymore? Hell, it was like pulling teeth to get some of these candidates to turn in their tax return paperwork, what would they do if they were forced to drug test? I have noticed that not one of the people trying to push this through have offered to have themselves drug tested.
Strange days - I am coming up on my 30th birthday. The big 3-0. Not bad for someone a lot of people thought wouldn't live to see 25. I'm taking a mini vacation today. My madre is out of town so I'm crashing on her couch. My son is with her, so I have a chance to catch up on things, like my life. I'm using this time to take a long, hard look at my life. I rather enjoy my job, so no problem there. I haven't been taking as good of care of myself as I need to be. I haven't been sleeping, haven't been staying on my diet. I haven't been exercising either, and have been informed by the doc I've gained 20 lbs. in the last 3 months. WHAT!?! I'm about 15 lbs heavier now than I was the day before I delivered my son. Clearly this needs to change. I wish there
Medical Issues TMI - So, I'm pretty sure I have Psoriasis.
No Priest Needed - The house is veeeeeery close to done! Thanks to the insane efforts of my Mumsey and Popa Bear! Yay! I am so excited, I can't wait to move into it!
SOundbites and podcasts - Soooo, I don't watch regular TV. I have been getting into podcasts lately, and here are some of my favorites and awful awful wastes of time. Podcasts are audio or video recordings much like TV shows. In fact, some of them are. I download and watch mine on Itunes for free.
Annie's Bits - Short, hilarious, American news show. Awesome!
Fun Stuff! -
Roseanne Barr for President! http://www.roseanneworld.com/blog/2012/08/rnc-vs-dnc-will-medical-marijuana-decide-the-election-2/
Bad bugs in my head - I woke up
Gut ache - Ugh. I've felt like a distillery for days
I trusted you - I trusted you and you betrayed me. I believed your words. I took them into my heart where they dug their hooks in. Internal bleeding where thoughts should be. When your words broke apart it tore my heart to pieces. Bloody chunks of my life lay at my feet while my chest gapes before you. I lost my life that day. I scramble to pick up the pieces of my heart, and my head falls off. I'm left in a pool of my own blood hearing "I'm sorry." Sorry doesn't heal.
Weird stuff. Have you ever started a book/journal entry/scrap of paper, then didn't go anywhere with it? What did it say?
June 8, 2014
Ah! My health!
Number One Rule For Dieting - DO NOT change everything you eat overnight. Start with baby-steps, or you will crash and burn. Always follow a doctor's advice, and following any diagnosis make ABSOLUTELY SURE you talk to a professional about the diet you need. Follow their advice. Seriously, when they say something will make you sick, they aren't kidding. My doc told me to stay away from bacon, and I ate it anyway because bacon is my super double fave. I died for three days. Don't make my mistakes.
Make sure you take time to eat at least 3 meals and 2 snacks per day, you will burn fat faster.
Keep track of your water, you need at least 8 glasses.
Slow down on the dairy, get the lowest fat version available. If you're cooking with it, the difference is harder to taste.
Make sure the food you do eat is actually food. The closer to raw food, like an apple with cheese slices vs apple with store bought caramel sauce. Can you read the ingredients of the sauce? Hmmmm. Corporations put ingredients in food like natural flavorings which is actually secretions from a North American Beaver's butt. so you're always better off with real food.
Pair guilty pleasures with twice as much healthy stuff. You get the taste you crave, plus you have taken the guilty out of your pleasure by eating healthy at the same time. Crave cheese, ham, bacon, eggs, and turkey? Cobb Salad anyone? Just use a huge amount of healthy greens, like spinach and kale, and low fat dressing, you're eating healthy! WITH BACON! Well, healthier anyway. Baby steps, remember?
Pick an exercise, and do it for at least 15 minutes a day. It can be anything as long as you are up and moving. Pick your favorite 4 dance songs, and get down with your bad self. Seriously, its that easy.
If you have a cell phone, set alarms for everything you need to get done. The water, when you need to eat, your workout, all of it. Do it now before you talk yourself into staying exactly where you are. Make sure you set them to repeat, or you will forget. Don't lie to yourself, you know you will. Did you think I was kidding? Seriously, take your phone out right now. I'll wait. *hums Jeopardy theme* K, done? Good.
Get enough sleep. Take naps if you can. Schedule yourself enough sleep.
Take care of your skin, its your biggest organ and your first defense against the world.
Make sure you get some sun every day, it provides vitamin D and helps your body absorb calcium.
Juicing is a great way to get your fresh veg in. If you have regular digestion, fresh veggies are better for you, because normal people need the insoluble fiber to clean out their bellies. Gut scrapers are your friend. If you're like me, throw an apple, a carrot, some pineapple, and a beet or 2 in the juicer and enjoy. Good stuff, that. There are those that hate the idea of eating fresh veggies, or don't enjoy doing it. Juicing is a good way to introduce yourself to the flavors. If you eat the regular American diet, at first your taste buds will be confuzzled by these new foods, and their lack of sodium and fats. I personally dreaded it at first. Then after experimenting and getting used to the different tastes and textures, I came to crave it.
Slow change is good change. If you drop a lot of weight quickly, you will most likely gain it back. Plus your skin can't keep up and it gets all gross saggy. Eww.
If you're a phone junkie like me, apps really help. I use MyFitnessPal. With Gastroparesis it is really important to keep a food diary.
Don't feel like you have to be perfect. A donut will not ruin your life. A dozen donuts are a terrible idea though, so exercise moderation. A donut and a tasty and healthy fruit smoothie, after staying with the diet? Good do. I can do one treat like that once every 2 weeks or so with minimal backlash.
Drink tea instead of soda or coffee. There are literally thousands of varieties easily available over the internet if you are in a super rural area. Check your local grocery store, or if you have a hippie store ask them. They will be able to point you in the right direction. If you have any specific health needs, there are many teas to help you. These are some of my personal favorites.
June 7, 2014
Gastro death
Anyhoo, looking for food, and I learned something. Stay off Yummly, it will just make you mad. I searched ""low fiber" "low fat" diet blog recipes" and everything that came up was high fiber. Jerks. LIVEStrong is a good overview, but nothing, dare I ask it, inspired? I'm so bored of chicken broth and overcooked rice. Canned veggies are not tasty. I just found this thread on Chowhound, and it has some amazing ideas. Meals For You has some suggestions and ways to search by fat, or carbs, and its very clear.
Next, we have the less than useful information. You know, 90% of the Internet? This forum thread is totally insane and has no real info in it. It is a great example of the stupid things people say on the Internet. Fun stuff. Or what I saw when I searched recipes.
No, wait. I said... Nevermind. |
On another note, I have some recipes of my own. If you roast some veggies in the oven, this is a good starter recipe. I personally don't use the balsamic, it makes it too acidy for me. But this softens whatever veg you have in the fridge wonderfully. After they're done, throw them in with some chicken stock. I make my soup fairly brothy, especially if I'm not feeling great. If you want chicken, feel free to throw some in with the veggies. Raw is ok, because you're going to be simmering this bad boy quite awhile. Don't forget to check your chicken before you eat it, it has to be white all the way through. I turn it up to high, then when it starts bubbling I turn it down to where it simmers. I leave it, stirring every couple of minutes or so, for at least a half an hour. Use a potato masher or good sized fork to squish everything up nice and soft. When its done, let it cool for a few, then enjoy. I also have been known to take just a tad of olive oil, soften some onions and leeks on low. Next I throw in some diced potatoes, and cook that down. Just when a little brown starts to show, cover everything with at least 2 inches above the potatoes with chicken or vegetable broth. Simmer 20 minutes- half an hour. Bam, soup.
June 3, 2014
Tired
I even know why. I haven't been taking care of myself. I've been forgetting things, losing track of things, letting life slip by me as I scramble to catch up. I've gone off my schedule, and stopped eating healthy. Again. I seriously need to stop doing this. I decide to be healthy and that I'm tired of feeling bad. Next thing I know its 10:30pm and I've eaten half a bag of chips and ramen for food all day. I want to get up at 5am every day, but I find myself staying up every night until 1 am. Oooops. I have to have 9 hours of sleep a night and I haven't gotten it in weeks. Could be the amount of soda I've been drinking. The excessive smoking doesn't help either. I know people my age that are in great shape with amazing careers. Granted most of them don't have kids, but that doesn't mean that I'm not better than them. Ha! When I was 18 I had this idea in my head, that I can be fit, have beautiful clean children, a job I love, the perfect relationship and a clean home. Oh, and I do the whole thing in heels. Nice thought, right? Now I know, children are not clean, nor am I having more than one. Being fit takes more work than chips, which is obvious yet ruins my life just a bit. You have to find things to love in a job. There is no perfect relationship, just one that works enough. OMG if I dated the perfect man I would probably murder him. The bastard would make me look bad.
My son is gone for a week with family (my Madre and Bro-face+family) and this is my big chance to reset my world. Also, I've gotten more quality time with the boyfriend, and that's neat. Here's where I get started on getting shit done. Tonight, I'm going to bed at 8pm, since I never get a damn thing done after then anyway. I can get up at 5, and have a couple of hours to throw up and make coffee. Walk the dog, then start my day. I have to take time to do my yoga too. I have to actually use a food diary and drink 8 glasses of water a day. I need to juice. I have to walk the dog once a day or he's an unreasonable turd. Rah. Now I am filling up my phone with alarms to get all of these things done, and I see my days laid out for me. Now that is scary, knowing what I'm going to be doing every day.
I remember a time when I would wake up and every day was a magical adventure. I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing, but it was so much fun. Now I have responsibilities, to myself and Mr. Monkeyface. Also the boyfriend, to a degree. And my family, though that has been an odd balance beam to toe down. I need to connect with them more, and more of them. I am very blessed to have been raised with the idea of family with no blood relation. Most of my blood relatives and I don't talk, for one reason or another. I do have a good Facebook relationship with my half sisters, they seem like cool people. I of course have my sweet grandparents (3), the lovely-yet-deadly Madre, Bro-Face, Sis-In-Law I love so much Sarhot, Hazely-poo the Princessbutt niecey. But most of the people I call family are not related to me at all. I have brothers, sisters, homies for life. I keep talking about moving, but short of me buying a compound or my own island, its not going to happen. At least, I won't go far. Maybe Laramie. I like Laramie. It's Wyoming's version of Portland. Maybe someday. For now, I own my own home, and need to get myself healthy. Oh a rigid schedule. I've never actually done this, and I'm pretty nervous. I feel almost like I'm putting myself in boot camp. I've gotten lazy with myself, and my life. I was getting so much done, I got sick, and I never quite retrained for life. I got lazy in my off season, time to fix it. This pep talk really needs to get more motivation behind it. I'm going to do this for myself, my family, and my life! Yeah! I'm going to get up early, and go to bed early, since collapsing into bed every night exhausted is not working out at. all. Going to bed early! Yeah! Up early! Yeah! WHOOOOOOO! Ok, I feel slightly better about this. On an ending note, look what my yard looks like, before and after!
Dead and full of crap. Yay! |
Full of weeds, but life! Yay Life! |
June 2, 2014
Japan
April 25, 2014
Pain
I feel like someone broke into my house and beat me. I started a new rule today- any day i wake up throwing up then poop my pants, I'm going back to bed. I'm not having it. Am i alive? I stiill feel pain, like I'm full of angry bunched up muscles. Small angry pain tigers curled everywhere in my body, stretching and clawing their ways around me. Chest tight, stabbing and constricting with each breath. Combined with my regular health issues, unbearable. I did it to myself. Not apurpose, mind you. (I love that word, a'purpose) Smoking. Ah yes, if I'd only avoided the damn cigarettes I would be in much better shape than I am currently. The same could be said of soda and booze too I'm sure, but those smokes can be murder. I'm actually smoking one right now. Terrible, awfully nasty habit. I'm trying to switch to a vape (e-cigarette) but its not the same. Regular cigarettes are dirty. Vapes are not, and i miss that dirtyness. Its the last real vice i have. I used to have many, and spent a fair amount of time "discovering myself". By "discovering myself" I mean basically doing anything and everything i felt like in that moment. Yes, now I'm paying for it, but i don't regret those decisions for a moment. I had my son fairly young (22) but I am done with that life, and have been since before he was born. But it calls to me sometimes. The night breeze whispers through my hair, reminding me of adventures to be had, and fun to revel in. That time is gone. I have lessons to drive the kiddo to, along with teacher meetings and working a regular job. No more do I follow my fancy, from party to party, man to man, friend to friend. Life was so fluid, so... shining. I miss that. Now I have the comfort of routine. Strange, the tradeoffs we make in life. I have no regrets looking back, but some of my choices were interesting.
April 8, 2014
Focus
February 6, 2014
Where am I?
January 31, 2014
Walk away
So just walk away.
January 28, 2014
Drag Queen?
After I had my lovely son, my body... well, it didn't look the same. I was listening to random music videos on youtube, I ran across this gem. I should mention here I had no clue who RuPaul was.
I loved it! I felt the same way watching this video that I did the first time I saw Naomi Campbell when I was a girl, the overwhelming jealousy and want/need to be them, or at least like them. Oh, well. I thought if you're not born like that I guess it just flat isn't in the cards. After the video I saw a link to RuPaul's Drag Race the TV show. I turned on season 1, episode 1. Find RuPaul's Drag Race Here! Vrooooom!
If you've never seen it, This will be a bit of a spoiler alert. Go watch it, then come back. No, I'm serious, I'll wait. Go!
Ok, in the beginning all of the ladies come in separately in full regalia, they do a small challenge, then they get out of drag. Until that point, I had no idea they were men. I actually thought it was a weird beauty pageant show. When I saw the transformation I was floored. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?!?!? Those beautiful women with glitter, ballgowns, and perfect bodies WERE DUDES?!?!? I MUST INVESTIGATE FURTHER!!!!! Until that point, I'd always felt too fabulous to be defined as any one thing. I've found myself wishing at time that I had been born a gay man, because then I would know more about who I was and honestly some of my eccentricities would be more acceptable. Anyhoo, on this journey I've called myself a couple of different things, from my real name to a name my character at that time embodied, Coia Cuppcake. I was going for sweet, bubbly, nice. Basically the very things I generally lack. I feel another incarnation coming on. I've always felt like an amoeba of tie-dyed rainbow, edged in black lace. Maybe some fire too. I hate being defined by any word, or even a set of words, unless at least a couple of them are contradictory. More on this later! Tata for now!
January 14, 2014
Ferrets! Diesel Weasel!
Almost 500 ferrets are looking for homes right now on petfinder. Look at this face!
My name is Brody and Adrien and I are a pair. I'm the more roly-poly one and I do like to roll over a lot when I'm playing. They tell me it looks pretty funny, but, hey, I'm having a good time! Adopt, don't shop is what we always say, you're saving a life!
Now you're excited! Look at the cutie fuzzface! OOOoooooooh I want one! (I know, that's what I said when I saw Brody.) Here are some tips to keep in mind.
Getting a new fuzzy family member is just like getting into any new relationship. Do your homework, and know what you're getting into before you do it. Are ferrets the right pet for you? First, according to Hug a Woozel, make sure it is legal to own a ferret in your area. Just because you see them in a pet shop does not mean they are legal, when in doubt call your local animal control. Ferrets can also be rather expensive for a small pets. Their cages start in the hundreds of dollars, they are usually at least $100, and their veterinarian care can be pricy due to the fact that they are exotic. They are intelligent creatures, and require toys and stimulus, plus food and fresh food. This all adds up quickly.
I'm bored. I think I'll make my own game out of eating a hole in every cereal box in the cupboard. Wheee! |
Ferrets are emotionally high maintenance and require a lot of time with their humans. They need to be able to get out of their cages at the very least once a day. Their cages need to be cleaned fairly often too, along with baths and grooming for the animals themselves. For more information, please go here to find your local library, they have free books from professionals!
There's also a lot of ferret lover's groups on the internet! We wanna check them out! |
If you're looking for an interesting pet that will love and play with you all day long, the ferret may be right for you! Inform yourself, and contacting rescues in your area is an awesome way to get answers to any questions you may have.
Taco and Belle |
These guys can be seen here on Petango.
January 12, 2014
Career Mom
I digress.
My version of it all was working and being the breadwinner. I had this ideal for almost a couple of months. I was on track for promotion, even was looking at moving out of state. Marcus was working part time but taking care of Tristyn. And then I got sick. Nice. It turns out that I've had a condition called Gastroparesis my entire life, and a major abdominal infection made it so bad that now I can't work. Sweeeeet. So now I'm what I swore I would never be, a housewife and stay at home mom. Instead of writing up reports and drawing up contracts, I see this:
As I Star Wars fan I do love the fact that my dog is part Wookie, but being a housewife is hard. I never get that feeling of walking out of work and knowing that I don't have to look at anyone in that building for at least a day on my days off. I don't get days off anymore. My job gets tedious sometimes. It happens. But my having it all now means I get to write, and I have a chance to help my son. So I do have it all, just not all I thought. Its working though, mostly. This place I'm at in my life seems to be working better than anything else I can think of, or really any other time in my life.
Let's end with a song!
January 10, 2014
Bitey is a word because I said it is
The cops that have been bothering me since he went underground arrested and immediately released him. I was assured that if the authorities in either Wyoming or Colorado found him he would be arrested and have a court date for the more than $27,000 he owes, but they arrested him for a misdemeanor and released him almost instantly. I was also promised by the detective I spoke with that they would notify me if they found him, and also if he were released. I found out from the local paper. In fact, the only reason that the Child Support Enforcement office knew he had been arrested was I called them. When they called the jail four days later, he wasn't there anymore. Shocker. Those morons never went after him for support until after he moved to Colorado two years ago. At this rate, he'll be dead before they find him. Ugh.
Onward and upward! I can't dwell on this stuff anymore. Not only is it stressing me out with no result, but I find myself becoming angry and bitey to the people around me. I have to focus on what I can do, and work from there. Its so frustrating to live with a disease that shuts me down randomly and with any intense work. Sometimes even writing can exhaust me. I can't stand it. It drives me insane. But I have to keep alive and keep moving, like a shark. I need to make a list, of things I can do and things I want to be able to do. 10 years ago that list was things like blowing glass art pieces and learning to use the turntables. Now it's making a pastry shell and folding laundry without getting tired. I'm so scared of leaving my house and getting dizzy and tired that it has really cut me off from a lot of things. I can't cut myself off, I know that. It isn't healthy, blahblahblah. But getting out of my comfort zone, possibly wearing real pants? Terrifying. Especially if I'm stuck somewhere that I can't sit down or easily pass out. Better days are coming. I just have to be positive. Now to end with a song...
Happy New Year! I'm Drinking All Day!
Let's look at some of what made 2013, well, a year that ends in 13 for sure. Rick Ross is suing LMFAO Because he thinks that his song:
Is being ripped off by this song:
Apparently, Mr. Ross is under the impression that "Everyday I'm shuffling." at 3:40 in the LMFAO video is the same as the "Everyday I'm hustlin'." in his song. My opinion, they sound nothing the same. At this point in the music industry it is ridiculous to sue over 3 words being similar. There are so many songs with words at this point it is going to be difficult to stay true to a particular music style without copying, its impossible to write anything without some of the words being similar.
Someone always has to get pissy about dudes in banana hammocks.