Chicken Says No

So James and I were at work, and he and David were in the back.  David informs me, out of the blue in his usual fashion, "Did you know they did a study with men and chickens, and tested how they would respond to attractive women?  The chickens responded 99% or something the same as the men.  As to whether they were attractive I mean."

"What?  Really?"  So now I'm going to get clocked by a chicken?  Damn.

"Yeah, next time I meet a girl that says she's hot, and she isn't, I'm going to pull out a chicken, and look at her and say, 'Chicken says no.'"

"Well Dave, its important to have standards."

I love most of the kids I work with.  Dave is fun.  Melissa and Sofie are also fun.  Melissa and Sofie are best friends and we all play with Punk Pony and Sherburt. We all get along pretty well.  Then we have Penny.  Penny is... well sometimes she tries.  However, the fact she is a raging bitchface all the time, delights in ordering people around, and is completely useless and only manages to get in the way, seems to be getting in the way of her connecting with pretty much anyone else in the store.  I can't stand an obvious toady kiss-ass.  Penny watches the bosses' kids sometimes and goes to their house and won't shut the fuck up about it.  Then I remember that I have a high school kid's job and want to shoot myself for a moment.  This is the least amount of money I've earned since I was 18, and the strain is showing.  Bah.  Tomorrow is another day, I just need to keep moving forward.

Hope.

Women Under Attack

Once again, misogyny is masquerading as public policy.  Planned Parenthood is getting their budget cut by the government and Susan G. Komen for the Cure.  Roe vs Wade is under attack from religious organizations.  In the media there is an argument about whether women should have access to birth control and breast cancer screenings.  Granted, today (Feb 3rd, 2012) Komen reversed its decision, but finally the American people had their attention brought to the plight of women's reproductive issues.  Any nation is in a pitiful state when sex enhancements like Viagra are available almost on every corner, but birth control takes almost an act of congress. I'm lucky, there is a sliding scale public health/ women's reproductive clinic in my town (They're here)  Where I can go to get any general exam, like a breast exam or my annual reproductive physical.  However, in the entire state of Wyoming there are no doctors willing to perform abortions.  It is difficult for anyone in this country in a rural area to receive even basic reproductive care, and for the first nation on the moon, that is a senseless tragedy.

Women are not breeding cattle.  I am against abortion in theory, but only in theory.  As someone who has had an abortion, I can say that it was one of the hardest decisions of my life.  It is not a spa weekend.  It is a hard ordeal with meetings with doctors and counselors, to ensure the woman is making an informed decision. There is a physical exam, and after the procedure (which is outpatient surgery, but still is surgery) there is a significant recovery time.  It was a horrible ordeal, but according to my situation, it was the only choice.  I support every woman's right to choose what she wants to do with her body, as long as she is a legal adult.   I knew a girl when I was in high school that had three abortions by the time she was 21.  She also was a drunk and a meth head, a hard core party girl.  If there was no abortion, what kind of life would those children have?  What if Mommy was strung out on drugs the entire time she was pregnant?  With no abortion, many more children should be born addicted to drugs, and go on to live neglected and possibly be abused because they weren't wanted.  These children also could end up in the foster system, and choke out an already clogged system.

If we lived in a country where women's health was a priority, and there was no stigma on birth control, there would be a much lower birth rate, and women would have more control about the size of their families and abortions would be as easy to get through any doctor as, say, fixing a broken leg.  However, abortions would go down because they would be much less necessary.  Why is there even an argument about this anyway?  Women have the right to go out and do just about anything else with their bodies including sell them in certain parts of Nevada.  Why not this?  I've heard the argument that they should be illegal, "for the children".  What about these children after they're born?  There are social services, but what if someone doesn't want to turn their whole life around and become a parent?  Adoption is an option for some, but what about people that can't continue doing their jobs while pregnant?  What about those people that react strongly to being pregnant?  I remember with my son I threw up for the first 5 or 6 hours I was awake every day, starting at 2 months.  I am very lucky I'm not a surgeon or an air traffic controller, I would have been screwed.  Some people can't just take a year off of their lives for many reasons. 

Reproductive rights in this country are in more trouble than usual.  As it stands, laws in the last year have been reviewed to charge pregnant women as criminals for miscarrying.  Roe vs Wade has been threatened for years by the religious right, now masquerading as powerful republicans.  2010 vote in Colorado to ban abortion and hormonal birth control, thankfully lost but the fact it was up for a vote scares me.  Another one in Mississippi lost also, but again, was voted on.  Contraception itself is under attack, and that is just crazy.  I understand that most people are against "promiscuity", but really, contraception prevents disease and pregnancy, not morals.  Some current presidential candidates are attacking abortions for women who are victims of rape and incest.  Like victims need the indignity of asking the government for the right to do something with their already violated bodies.  I can't imagine having to make an impossible choice with an already horrific situation, but if I did, I would want the freedom to make a choice with my doctor to make a choice with my body.  I am not government property, and I should not be treated as such.  It's my body, and when everything else in life goes to hell, what else do you have?  Our bodies are the basis of what and who we are, and if we don't have freedom with them, what else do we have?  The government as a parental figure is all we are left with.

Random thoughts for the day...

Narcissists think they rule, but everyone hates them.

I don't care who you are, bad plastic surgery looks like bad plastic surgery.

Grown men that whine make me want to punch myself in the face.  Shut your facehole!

I love these guys 

Yes, I know wrestling is fake.  No, I don't care. 

These guys also rule

Katt Williams - Funny at 2am.  William Shatner - Funny never.  Lisa Lampenelli - funny always.

Cancer Sucks!

There are worse things than having a small penis.  No, not cancer.  (Cancer does suck though.)  I would rather sleep with a guy that has a small penis that gets in there and works it and does what he needs to do like eating a bitch out, than a lazy mofucka with a big dick that just throws his dick at you.  Most guys end up on the spectrum somewhere.
Some guys are just awful.  I was with a guy once that literally punched me in the clit.  I have no idea why, he just punched me in the clit.  I asked him why he would do something like that and he said, "I thought you liked it rough."  What?  What the hell does that have to do with rough sex?  We weren't even having sex, I was watching a movie naked.  Fuck this, dude.

Mmmmmm I love watching American Dad!

These guys help pay for my shoe collection!  Yay for advertisers!

detroit tigers baseball tickets 

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Ticketamerica.com has tickets for the top american league teams including the texas rangers and the detroit tigers as well as the boston red sox tickets.
 

Voter's Search for Truth vol 2

First stop in America's basic two party system, Democrats and Republicans. At first look, they may seem innocuous.  Do not be fooled!  I joke.  Seriously though, lets check out my first stop.  I started here.

The first thing I noticed was Mitt Romney's name on their banner twice.  My first thought was Isn't he a republican? Dingdingding I win!  He is.  I hate how easily mudslinging comes to these politicians now.  We call that talking shit where I come from, and its enough to get your mouth slapped off in some circles.  Anyhoo, 5 out of the 9 featured stories on their front page are about Republicans.  Strange that they are presenting themselves as advertising for the "other side".  That's it for a quick glance, onto something else.

Next it was onto GOP Headquarters.  Their front page was very crowded, but full of their own people.  About half of it looked to be current representatives complaining about either the president or current policies.  Isn't that always the way.  I find it hard to sum up this giant clusterfuck, so I will save it for the in depth look.

~ADD Break~  I swear I just saw some guy singing Eye of the Tiger on The Cobert Report.  *shakes head violently*  Weird.  Onto the next voter's choice!!

Steven Colbert decided to end his bid for President.  Sad day.

On to someone I had never heard of, Stewart Alexander.  They have a list of points which I can get behind, from affordable housing for everyone to legalizing marijuana and taxing it like cigarettes.  However, I see a big word that worries me.  SOCIALISM.  Granted I may have spent too much time with my McCarthy era grandparents, but that word gives me pause.  According to Dictionary.com, socialism is "a theory or system of social organization  that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the community as a whole." Ok, that doesn't sound too scary.  Unless we don't get to pick who we work with, because I know a lot of lazy bastards around here.  Share and share alike is a great theory and works in small groups, but too many people are lazy assholes and think the world owes them a living.  Perhaps.  

Tata for now!  Next time, we'll finish looking at the independent candidates and then, the world!   Muahahahahaha! 

A Voter's Search for the Truth, vol. 1

Tired of feeling like things are happening around you that you do not understand? Inform yourself!  I am now involving myself in the fight against ignorance, and what is happening in this country scares me.  It scares me to death.  I have heard some things here and there about different politicians, but this is a quest for the truth!  Or at least a quest to find the least horrific of the choices presented.  Gosh, I've read in the history books about presidents being leaders of men and loved by their country.  What happened to that?  It probably went wherever legal and democratic elections for president went.  Perhaps this is a grim outlook, but every election presents hope.  Hope for not just another sideshow but something of substance, something worth voting and fighting for.  A reason for Americans to call themselves Americans instead of southern Canadians.  Here we shall explore the magical bullshit we call politics!  Whee!

Drama in the LBZ

Drama drama drama.  Don't we all say we don't want it, don't want anything to do with it, and get it away?  I up until recently had a roommate I had known for a long time.  She ended up treating me like her housemaid and overcharging me for a room.  Granted, she took me and my son when we were homeless, but that is no reason to yell at my kid for not picking up after your kids.  Sandy also had 4 large dogs she refused to walk or pay attention to, so they would eat anything from toys to clothing.  She was a terrible parent, and was supposed to have full custody of her kids.  Sandy would drop her kids off at their dad's house and refuse to come back for them for at least a week.  She constantly had new guys over for the night, and wanted me to "cover for her".  None of this would be a big issue by itself, but all of these together along with me "needing to pay attention to her" made me want to punch myself in the face everyday.  Sandy would wake me up by screaming my name over and over so she could tell me about all of the guys she had fucked the night before, and so i could tell her she was pretty.  The last time she woke me up I told her to get a boyfriend and leave me alone.  She said she was too busy "seeing what she could get for a gold pussy" but ended up sleeping with one guy for over a week because he bought her a car.  The next one I guess is buying her a house and a ring, but I moved out before that happened.  I was tired of them asking me why my boyfriend bought me so many different flowers.  He didn't, that was just all of the different guys she was banging.  A couple of them got seriously pissed when he laughed and said he didn't buy me flowers.

So Sandy had sent me a couple of texts since I moved, that were basically pay me my money (which I don't owe her).  I finally got pissed about it last time, about a week ago.  I called her a bloody cunt rag and told her to get off her high horse, I don't owe her shit.  Then today, I saw her on a social networking site, and it pissed me off again.  I wrote a lot of ugly things to her and about her where everyone and God could see it.  She sent me a message about how I need to grow up.  So there wasn't any more miscommunication, I called her.  I informed Sandy she needed to learn some manners and lose my number, because I was tired of her stupid bullshit.  It amazes me that simply telling someone you despise how you feel about them and asking them to crawl into a hole and die seems to only yield them insulting me, or in this case silence, and not their death as hoped.  Ah, well.  Bah.  I know perhaps... it was childish for me to continually insult her with no real provocation on her part.  I also know I would have just been waiting for the next time she decided to be an asshole to someone and remembered me.  So, Sandy is on my People I wouldn't Piss on if they Were on Fire list.  I hope she enjoys it, the douchie-queen.

I must confess, when someone has angered me  to the point that I am sure I no longer want to have anything to do with them ever again, I do enjoy unleashing a stream of well timed, colorful, and suicide-inducing insults.  Yay for hobbies!

Classic Movies, like Scream

I find myself watching one of the greatest movies of all time, Smokey and the Bandit.  A friend of mine on the couch here has never seen it.  It makes me think, what qualifies as a classic movie?  For some, it is a movie that has "stood the test of time", whatever that means.  For me, a classic movie is one I can watch until my eyeballs bleed.  I change my mind about everything in the world far too often to have just one favorite anything, but some movies everyone needs to see.  Its like growing up with no calcium, you end up twisted.  My top 20 classics in no particular order:

1) Smokey and the Bandit - A charming story with Sally Field, Burt Reynolds, a black trans am, and beer.  Yay beer!

2) Bull Durham - Some of life's best wisdom with baseball and Susan Sarandon.  For instance, weddings, "Honey, we all deserve to wear white."

3) Blues Brothers - Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi gold.  Soul music heaven with cameos from almost every major soul and R&B artist worth talking about.

4) Die Hard - Bruce Willis is so hot.

5) Fifth Element - Same as above with better special effects.

6) The Rocky Horror Picture Show - Tim Curry, dancing in a G string.  Need I say more?

7) Wayne's World  - Dana Carvey and Michael Myers are hilarious, with the greatest headbanger soundtrack ever!

8) To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar  - Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, and John Leguizamo in drag.  A must for anyone that has ever used the word "fabulous"  

9) The Princess Bride - Sword fights, giants (Andre the Giant), Rodents of Unusual Size, Romance, Pirate ships, this movie has everything. Everything plus Fred Savage!


10) Goodfellas - The mob is scary awesome!

11) White Christmas - Irving Berlin, awesome clothes, and funny as hell!!!

12) Hackers - Angelina Jolie when she was still hot and Matthew Lillard when he was still funny.

13) Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory - Gene Wilder rocks the house in this.  If you haven't heard him sing Pure Imagination, kill yourself.

14) Hocus Pocus - Bette Midler = fantasmical songstress, Sarah Jessica Parker = Blonde Bimbo,  Kathy Najimy = creepy as hell. Best halloween movie hands down.

15) Monty Python's Meaning of Life - My fave philosophy movie.  Really does have the meaning of life.

16) The Evil Dead - I know it is a series, but the cheesy effects really rock with one liners such as "This is my BOOM STICK!" Can't be beat.

17) Back to the Future - Another trilogy, this one is Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd with a time machine.  Who has two thumbs and loves the 80s?  This girl!

18) The Last Unicorn - The entire soundtrack done by America, and a flaming red bull.  Perfect for little kids!  I only had nightmares for years.

19) Chicago - He had it comin'.  Classic musical about women murderers in the 1930sish.  Many songs are done in lingerie, but they are scary.

20) Clerks - Kevin Smith's breakout  black and white film about the people that work and live with a convenience store.  If you have ever worked a crap job behind a register, watch this.  Someone finally gets it.


I no longer have copies to all of these movies which sucks, but the pawn shop beckons when money is short. Three months ago I lost a little over 100 movies to a pawn shop.  I wish I had made enough money to get them out, but if wishes were pigs bacon would always be on sale.  Thank goodness I can buy any movies I want at Movie Buff.  Cheapest movies ever, and they're all in playing shape.  Hell, I scored the Back to the Future Boxed set for about $5.  Find them here
Movie Buff Store