Blargh

So we are stilll in full swing puppy season and the amount of stupid people doing stupid shit still astounds me.  If you have a mutt or mongrel puppy, no one in their right mind is going to pay $500+ for it.  According to the AKC, a mutt is a mix of 2 recognised breeds, and a mongrel is 3+.  These guys are available at any shelter or rescue.  Yes, your dogs may be cute, but that is a terrible reason to breed.  What kinds of genetic issues do these dogs have?  Are you mixing 2 different kinds of breeds?  Whenever i see an add for mixed puppiez that says "best of both breeds" i really want to scream.  These people clearly don't understand genetics.  You get a grab bag of traits from both parents.  Putting two names together to make it sound cute does not change the fact you're trying to make a quick buck off being too lazy to fix your dog.  Blargh.

Did someone drag me behind a horse and i just forgot?

Ughaghugh.  I'm so tired.  I'm watching season 4 of RuPaul's Drag Race, and Moose hunting flies.  I've drank a pot of coffee, had a hour and a half nap, and still feel like I'm going to die.  I just can't survive on 4 hours of sleep anymore.  I'm 29 and far too old for this shit. 

In other news, we went camping!  Whooo!  We've got an ADHD 7yr old, ADD 5 yr old, and a 4 yr old.  Oh god what did i do? So technically this isn't a real post yet.  This is a post to let you know I didn't forget about you, I just ran away from civilization.  I almost didn't come back, but I ran out of underpants.

Am i?

Am I still the same person I was back in the day?  You wouldn't recognise me, I wear heels and much less eyeliner.  I have responsibilities now, instead of a knife collection.  I look at situations now and think if this was 15 years ago I would have just screamed obscenities at you until you left me alone.  Instead I have to be nice to you since our kids are in the same class.  Its also hard to look in the mirror sometimes.  My Grandfather says he looks in the mirror, but some old man is in there staring at him.  There's some chick in mine, she looks overweight and tired.  What happened to the bright eyes and high cheekbones?  And her hair?  It just lays there like an old rug now, what happened?  There was a time it flowed up and around, like an elegant bouncy drape to frame my face, now it hangs there, like the curtains in a haunted house.  Tattered, and in ruins.  My face, my body, what is this physical thing that people see?  Or worse, my clothes and makeup.  Do they see that as me? The baggy t-shirt and sweatpants, worn because regular clothes are so restrictive.  Especially with this skinny jean, skinnier shirt trend.  I look pregnant on a bad day.  Ugh.  But a new day dawns.  I have hope, and a plan for the future. 

Gypsy Cart

I woke up this morning surprised I wasn't in my gypsy cart.  I keep having this dream I live in a sheepherder's wagon in the woods.  Its so quiet and peaceful, I wish I was there now.  Its a million fricken degrees in here, even with 3 air conditioners.  I'm meeeelting, meeeeelting. 

In other news, I'm going to see a new doctor soon.  Wheeee.  I was referred to a psychologist when I met my last new doctor, a general practitioner.  Apparently its not normal or healthy to hide in your house and be so run down you can't breathe.  Huh.  Medication was suggested.  *Sigh* 

3Am

Three am and my blood is pumpin.  Or not.  I'm almost asleep.  Asleeeeeeeep.  I hate rude exbosses.  I have one that almost haunts me.  Stupid bitch.  Ugh she's the worst ever.  Whatever.  Mean and hateful to me but sweet as pie to my boyfriend.
Now we are in daylight hours, but I'm so full of decongestant that I keep wondering if I'm in the movie Pan's Labyrinth.  The universe keeps shifting. I keep seeing things that aren't there, things I know in my head aren't there, but I keep thinking, Am I sure?  Why again are they not real?  Shadows out of the corner of my eyes keep moving.  I am convinced its the cat until I remember they're both outside.  I'm fairly sure I'm not stuck in a horror movie because this has been going on for awhile, but one can never be too sure.  Either way I'm holed up in my cave of sick just praying for daylight.  In my head.  Not suicide tho, just something to cut the black on my brain. 

Its a fresh one

A fresh piece of hell that is.  I want to will myself into feeling better.  I will let you know if that ever pans out.
I've found my dream home, I'm going to build a tiny house on wheels.  Now all i have to do is come up with the money for it.  And figure out where to build it, and where I'm gonna park it.  Also i have to figure out how I'm going to build it with no building experience whatsoever.  I'm very blessed, my wonderful friend David has offered to help me and he just graduated college with a degree in building awesomeness, so I'm super excited!  Architectural Engineering is what he called it but whatever.  Tiny house!   My mom laughed at the idea of Moose, my 100+ lb. puppy in a tiny house.  According to my calculations however, less house = more yard.  More yard = more frolicking space for Mr. Moo.  All he does inside is lay under my feet anyway.  All i need is a job now.